i am an artist

 

random photo because i want to write & i really don't keep many photos on my laptop anymore.. i use my android for photo storage.. so this is my nook.. my studio.. where i create.. i have been selling more & more of my art.. in 2025, i sold 15 pieces.. as of the beginning of August 2026, i have sold 17 this year.. it feels amazing when i sell a piece of my art.. yesterday, i sold 2 to a repeat customer.. she lives in Dorset, Vt.. that place is known to have money.. she picked 2 she liked, paypalled me the money in the blink of an eye.. like, whatever for shipping.. she's like "i'm on my way out the door to take my dog for a walk, refresh me on your paypal" and it's done.. i made $92 on 2 rather small pieces.. and then i am on cloud 9.. the energy high i get is enough to carry me thru for days.. i love being an art.. albeit a starving artist, lol.. yet i am doing this.. psssst, little girl me.. all that drawing, it's paying off.. you don't have to conform to whatever society tells you to.. you can do it girl.. you are an artist kiddo.. we are making our dream happen.. 

soul healing

first of all, i keep forgetting i have this blog.. i'm not going to promise to be better at blogging, because i will forget again.. i keep so many journals.. and each one give me a different vibe.. enough of that, why i came here tonight is to talk about some new friends i made.. 

these 3 beauties.. i don't even know their names yet.. i believe i manifested this meeting.. i have been NEEDING horses in my life.. i keep them on the forefront of my manifesting dreams.. this is the year of the fire horse 2026.. so i know that to manifest anything, one has to make space for it.. simply wanting something is good, yet to bring it in, there needs to be a space for it.. a void, almost.. so i acquired some vintage rusty horse bits.. i decided to hang them in my zen dopamine garden.. i tacked them to the trees.. i look at them all the time.. drawing the spirit of horses to me.. my first memory is of horses when i was 3 1/2 years old.. i need horses in my life.. so the opportunity comes along, a customer of Marks.. he comes home from meeting the gentleman saying "he has horses".. i felt my heart skip & my inner child was dancing.. oh, i knew this was going to happen.. so when this gentleman Matt came over to do business with Mark, i went up to him, introduced myself & asked if i could meet his horses.. 

and it happened.. the other day.. these 3 gorgeous horses.. one horse is super friendly, loved my company.. was playful, a bit animated.. the huge horse is quiet.. a beast of an animal, friendly but didn't seek out my attention..  the white one is a senior, had been feeling down, grew thin.. i spent time with each horse.. i felt i was brought to them as much as they were brought to me.. i am a healer.. i can say this with confidence.. i could list a novel of testimonials.. so while in the silence, with the air heavy.. the white horse came up to me, leaned against me, head hung low & shared space with me in a different way then the others did.. our energy in an infinity loop.. his breath upon me, my hands upon him.. i could see the energy move between us.. eyes closed, 2 trusting souls sharing.. both of us healing the other.. 

i am struggling to find the right words to describe this interaction.. i can't.. words like magical, euphoric, blessed.. everything sounds so colorless.. nothing holds enough sparkle, they haven't come up with words, colors bright enough to describe this.. this all, it fed my soul, or spirit, or being, or core.. and it wasn't just taking it in.. it was giving it back.. i never had any doubts or fear or apprehension.. i needed to get to this horse.. we shared our breath.. 

so today, Mark went to see the gentleman, i didn't insist on going.. i know i will be visiting these incredible animals again.. i will learn their names & as much as i felt an urgency to meet them, i am calm now knowing there will be plenty more times.. so when Mark came home, i simply said "the white horse is feeling somewhat better, isn't he?"  yes..  thank you Universe for this kindred spirit connection.. 

musing of a spring day in 2026

because every post needs a photo, random image of some of my atc's.. all are gone, except the eyeball.. i never really throw it into the mix for trades, cuz i don't think it's not really the shizzle, it's just meh.. i will probably give it as a raok card somewhere along the line.. i'm rambling.. it's 7:50p & i am just noticing that the it's not dark out yet.. the setting sun on the trees has just left the treetops.. so twilight will be upon me soon. i love, love.. sooo love twilight.. that time of night when the air becomes grainy.. i used to have dreams about this time of night.. deep navy blues, dark violets, evergreens.. so deep that the colours are muted, almost pixelated..

i just took a break.. i went out on the porch with Mamacats, i lied down & looked up, the sky so clear.. i wanted to wait for the navy blue to come in, but it's hard lying on my back on a hard surface.. all back bone on wood.. ouch.. yet, mamacats & i snuggled for a bit.. too soon in the year for bats, the birds all making their way to roost.. so i am in, watching the sky from my chair in the nook.. the moon mostly a sliver in the sky..  Ava being a purring pile of mushy love at my hip.. i never do anything without a kitty at my reach.. life is beautiful that way.. i guess i keep writing, hoping the gloaming will take me into it's dreamy world for a bit.. so wait with me, will you? you.. i don't know who you is.. i don't know if anyone ever sees these words.. yet i write them.. i feel that who ever needs to read my ramblings, it will find them.. 

so in between musings.. i spent my day outside, sitting in the cool breeze yet warm sun.. so vert spring in all it's springish perfectness,. i painted, i wrote, i watched birds, i drank some whiskey, ate onion flavoured potato chips.. i painted a manatee, a coyote, some brambles, a tree.. some other stuff.. i ate my leftover chinese food out there..  i traded a couple atc's with a new artist.. i was grateful, blessed.. i talked to the phoebes & the turkey vulture, the hawk & the crow.. all that shared space with me.. i truly love my world.. my life., 

oh, the gloaming is almost upon me.. i shall replace the keyboard with a paintbrush and see what this night can offer up in inspiration.. 

i absolutely suck at maintaining sites, my blogs, site, social media shit.. i am the type to delete, reinvent, start over, run away, disappear, hide in the shadows, creep, rinse, repeat, & so on.. i thought i had deleted this blog.. i don't even know how long i've had this.. but apparently i have forgotten about it for nearly a year.. well, this is me.. sequoia spirit.. perhaps i started this blog as twilightgecko, or weege, or zoe.. hell, i don't know.. i have reinvented myself so many fecking times.. it's like they are all personalities of me.. i can rewind thru the years and name a dozen more shadows of me.. from when i was 5.. 8.. 10.. i was bo, morbid, scar, bounce.. so many.. each taking over whenever i needed to erase, forget, start fresh.. well, this era of my life, i am sequoia.. this is me trying to find who i am in the middle space.. i have been here for a good decade or more.. i figured this would be my twilight persona.. yeti don't think so.. i feel i have many travels around the sun yet.. i will be here more often, as least i say so.. then i wander into a different season & everything shifts.. i might be surprised as i look back upon this blog & see how long i've been doing this.. i still have my Ava at my side.. literally & figuratively.. she is purring at my hip as i write.. my constant, my muse.. i am still married to the love of my life, the man of my dreams.. Mark.. i have never been in a relationship this long.. really.. like, double the years i've ever existed in one space.. he is my fella.. & we continue to grow, evolve, exist.. i will be back more often.. see ya tmw.. 

a chance meeting

 

my hubby found some old cabinets & shelves on marketplace.. i tagged along to go look at them.. as we entered the barn where they were kept, i noticed a fenced in area.. and then i see this adorable face.. she was in a pen with another donkey & some goats,. i immediately asked the woman if i could say hello to her critters.. oh, such sweetness.. i was in my element, my bliss.. my hubby paid the woman & said we would be back to pick up items.. yay! cuz i get to hang with the critters once again.. a couple days later, we returned.. it was raining & the critters didn't want much to leave their dry spot, but we could touch if i stretched.. and i did.. there is nothing so soft as a donkeys nose.. there were 2 horses on site that i had to run over to greet.. it's an honour to be in the company of such sweetness.. i never take moments like this for granted.. it might seem mundane to some people, but anytime an animal chooses to share space with me, i am deeply appreciative.. i am lost in the moment of their beauty & kindness.. whether it be wildlife or domestic.. thank you donkey for being part of my happiness.. 

flow

 

on the eve of a new year.. this year I am going to partake in a word for the year.. I’ve contemplated this before & I’m ready to a theme word.. I’ve thought on this & I have decided that my word is going to be FLOW.. I pondered over many words, trying to find the right word that fits my thoughts.. so my thoughts are this.. I live my life so restricted by my own self imposed rules.. on the outside, I shun rules, restrictions, authority & structure.. yet, I live so regimented on the inside.. I discipline myself harshly.. I can’t fall asleep without checking the time, like I need to record when I fall asleep, when I wake, how long I slept.. and I also feel the need to record all data with lists, check lists, to do lists.. it’s so tiresome.. I record what books I read, every oracle card readings, journals for everything.. photographic records of useless data.. if I exercise, I record the steps, the minutes, sets and repetitions.. yada yada yada & so on.. this carries over into every area of my life.. so this year, I am going to give up structure.. the self imposed shit.. so the words I contemplated.. free, freedom, calm, easy, fluid, lawless, be, lax.. and I kept coming back to flow.. meaning, to go with the flow, to be flowing & easy going.. when I see this word, I know it means to relax & be more fluid and to just FLOW.. flowing doesn’t stop at check points, walls & borders.. flowing doesn’t take time to refer to lists & clocks.. so that is my 2025 word of the year.. I will remember it & make art around it.. I will remind myself to just be chill.. and right now I am fighting the urge to start my journals, add the habit tracker to my phone, set a high number of books to read on good reads.. I have ridiculous ideas of personal accomplishments that I set myself up for.. I’m 58 years young.. I want to live freely on the inside.. documenting my life is part of me, yet I need to find a way to make it more fun & creative.. I know I will go thru some anxiety while I begin to live without borders.. I’m kinda fighting it now as I want to set my goals..

i'm back [again]

i don't know why i go AWOL so often.. i get into a new hobby, or an old hobby.. and something has to go by the wayside - i guess.. i can't give everything all my attention.. lately i've been into making ATC's again.. [artist trading cards].. i used to make them years ago.. i joined a facebook group & that started me going again.. it's inspiring.. i think i want to start writing again, writing more.. so i'll be back.. 

Carl [above] he is one year old now.. what a crazy cat he is.. i have mad love for this little monster..

2024

i made it thru another year, fairly unscathed.. i'm happy & inspired & optimistic.. 

sunrise spectacular

the sunrise was stunning this morning.. i was up well before the sun, so when the sky started turning into a paint by numbers, i went outside with my camera.. surprised that it was warm enough to be out in a t-shirt.. hey, i'm Canadian.. 50 degrees IS t-shirt weather..  in the sky, the crows were emerging from their roost.. in the woods, the deer were still bedded down.. in the house, my husband slept with the 3 cats..  hot coffee in one hand, camera in the other.. i watched the sunrise spectacular.. 

seeking horses to be my friend

i'm not sure what i want to jibber jabber about yet, so i'll just put fingers to keyboard and see what spills out.. i went outside earlier, found some packages on my porch that were meant for my neighbours.. our driveways oddly intersect.. these neighbours live behind me, on a long and winding dirt road.. now that the leaves have fallen off the trees, i can see their horses grazing up on the hill.. perhaps i'm a typical girl in the sense that i find horses magical.. so i went for a walk with their packages to drop them off.. in hopes of seeing their horses out.. what a gorgeous walk.. some deer were eating in a clearing, watching me, watching them.. i want to become friendly enough with these neighbours that they let me visit their horses.. but i'm an introvert.. i've lived here 8 years and still haven't been able to approach them.. they are nice enough.. i live rural & this couple was the towns veterinarians.. we don't seem to cross paths enough tho to make casual talk.. so, i admire their equine beauties from afar.. perhaps i should make this an intention.. something to manifest.. it would force me out of my introverted shell.. a 2024 goal.. i know, after 8 years, what makes me think the 9th will be the magic year? because i could make it a priority.. 

oh and i didn't see their horses, tho it was still a beautiful walk..