musing of a spring day in 2026

because every post needs a photo, random image of some of my atc's.. all are gone, except the eyeball.. i never really throw it into the mix for trades, cuz i don't think it's not really the shizzle, it's just meh.. i will probably give it as a raok card somewhere along the line.. i'm rambling.. it's 7:50p & i am just noticing that the it's not dark out yet.. the setting sun on the trees has just left the treetops.. so twilight will be upon me soon. i love, love.. sooo love twilight.. that time of night when the air becomes grainy.. i used to have dreams about this time of night.. deep navy blues, dark violets, evergreens.. so deep that the colours are muted, almost pixelated..

i just took a break.. i went out on the porch with Mamacats, i lied down & looked up, the sky so clear.. i wanted to wait for the navy blue to come in, but it's hard lying on my back on a hard surface.. all back bone on wood.. ouch.. yet, mamacats & i snuggled for a bit.. too soon in the year for bats, the birds all making their way to roost.. so i am in, watching the sky from my chair in the nook.. the moon mostly a sliver in the sky..  Ava being a purring pile of mushy love at my hip.. i never do anything without a kitty at my reach.. life is beautiful that way.. i guess i keep writing, hoping the gloaming will take me into it's dreamy world for a bit.. so wait with me, will you? you.. i don't know who you is.. i don't know if anyone ever sees these words.. yet i write them.. i feel that who ever needs to read my ramblings, it will find them.. 

so in between musings.. i spent my day outside, sitting in the cool breeze yet warm sun.. so vert spring in all it's springish perfectness,. i painted, i wrote, i watched birds, i drank some whiskey, ate onion flavoured potato chips.. i painted a manatee, a coyote, some brambles, a tree.. some other stuff.. i ate my leftover chinese food out there..  i traded a couple atc's with a new artist.. i was grateful, blessed.. i talked to the phoebes & the turkey vulture, the hawk & the crow.. all that shared space with me.. i truly love my world.. my life., 

oh, the gloaming is almost upon me.. i shall replace the keyboard with a paintbrush and see what this night can offer up in inspiration.. 

i absolutely suck at maintaining sites, my blogs, site, social media shit.. i am the type to delete, reinvent, start over, run away, disappear, hide in the shadows, creep, rinse, repeat, & so on.. i thought i had deleted this blog.. i don't even know how long i've had this.. but apparently i have forgotten about it for nearly a year.. well, this is me.. sequoia spirit.. perhaps i started this blog as twilightgecko, or weege, or zoe.. hell, i don't know.. i have reinvented myself so many fecking times.. it's like they are all personalities of me.. i can rewind thru the years and name a dozen more shadows of me.. from when i was 5.. 8.. 10.. i was bo, morbid, scar, bounce.. so many.. each taking over whenever i needed to erase, forget, start fresh.. well, this era of my life, i am sequoia.. this is me trying to find who i am in the middle space.. i have been here for a good decade or more.. i figured this would be my twilight persona.. yeti don't think so.. i feel i have many travels around the sun yet.. i will be here more often, as least i say so.. then i wander into a different season & everything shifts.. i might be surprised as i look back upon this blog & see how long i've been doing this.. i still have my Ava at my side.. literally & figuratively.. she is purring at my hip as i write.. my constant, my muse.. i am still married to the love of my life, the man of my dreams.. Mark.. i have never been in a relationship this long.. really.. like, double the years i've ever existed in one space.. he is my fella.. & we continue to grow, evolve, exist.. i will be back more often.. see ya tmw.. 

a chance meeting

 

my hubby found some old cabinets & shelves on marketplace.. i tagged along to go look at them.. as we entered the barn where they were kept, i noticed a fenced in area.. and then i see this adorable face.. she was in a pen with another donkey & some goats,. i immediately asked the woman if i could say hello to her critters.. oh, such sweetness.. i was in my element, my bliss.. my hubby paid the woman & said we would be back to pick up items.. yay! cuz i get to hang with the critters once again.. a couple days later, we returned.. it was raining & the critters didn't want much to leave their dry spot, but we could touch if i stretched.. and i did.. there is nothing so soft as a donkeys nose.. there were 2 horses on site that i had to run over to greet.. it's an honour to be in the company of such sweetness.. i never take moments like this for granted.. it might seem mundane to some people, but anytime an animal chooses to share space with me, i am deeply appreciative.. i am lost in the moment of their beauty & kindness.. whether it be wildlife or domestic.. thank you donkey for being part of my happiness.. 

flow

 

on the eve of a new year.. this year I am going to partake in a word for the year.. I’ve contemplated this before & I’m ready to a theme word.. I’ve thought on this & I have decided that my word is going to be FLOW.. I pondered over many words, trying to find the right word that fits my thoughts.. so my thoughts are this.. I live my life so restricted by my own self imposed rules.. on the outside, I shun rules, restrictions, authority & structure.. yet, I live so regimented on the inside.. I discipline myself harshly.. I can’t fall asleep without checking the time, like I need to record when I fall asleep, when I wake, how long I slept.. and I also feel the need to record all data with lists, check lists, to do lists.. it’s so tiresome.. I record what books I read, every oracle card readings, journals for everything.. photographic records of useless data.. if I exercise, I record the steps, the minutes, sets and repetitions.. yada yada yada & so on.. this carries over into every area of my life.. so this year, I am going to give up structure.. the self imposed shit.. so the words I contemplated.. free, freedom, calm, easy, fluid, lawless, be, lax.. and I kept coming back to flow.. meaning, to go with the flow, to be flowing & easy going.. when I see this word, I know it means to relax & be more fluid and to just FLOW.. flowing doesn’t stop at check points, walls & borders.. flowing doesn’t take time to refer to lists & clocks.. so that is my 2025 word of the year.. I will remember it & make art around it.. I will remind myself to just be chill.. and right now I am fighting the urge to start my journals, add the habit tracker to my phone, set a high number of books to read on good reads.. I have ridiculous ideas of personal accomplishments that I set myself up for.. I’m 58 years young.. I want to live freely on the inside.. documenting my life is part of me, yet I need to find a way to make it more fun & creative.. I know I will go thru some anxiety while I begin to live without borders.. I’m kinda fighting it now as I want to set my goals..

i'm back [again]

i don't know why i go AWOL so often.. i get into a new hobby, or an old hobby.. and something has to go by the wayside - i guess.. i can't give everything all my attention.. lately i've been into making ATC's again.. [artist trading cards].. i used to make them years ago.. i joined a facebook group & that started me going again.. it's inspiring.. i think i want to start writing again, writing more.. so i'll be back.. 

Carl [above] he is one year old now.. what a crazy cat he is.. i have mad love for this little monster..

2024

i made it thru another year, fairly unscathed.. i'm happy & inspired & optimistic.. 

sunrise spectacular

the sunrise was stunning this morning.. i was up well before the sun, so when the sky started turning into a paint by numbers, i went outside with my camera.. surprised that it was warm enough to be out in a t-shirt.. hey, i'm Canadian.. 50 degrees IS t-shirt weather..  in the sky, the crows were emerging from their roost.. in the woods, the deer were still bedded down.. in the house, my husband slept with the 3 cats..  hot coffee in one hand, camera in the other.. i watched the sunrise spectacular.. 

seeking horses to be my friend

i'm not sure what i want to jibber jabber about yet, so i'll just put fingers to keyboard and see what spills out.. i went outside earlier, found some packages on my porch that were meant for my neighbours.. our driveways oddly intersect.. these neighbours live behind me, on a long and winding dirt road.. now that the leaves have fallen off the trees, i can see their horses grazing up on the hill.. perhaps i'm a typical girl in the sense that i find horses magical.. so i went for a walk with their packages to drop them off.. in hopes of seeing their horses out.. what a gorgeous walk.. some deer were eating in a clearing, watching me, watching them.. i want to become friendly enough with these neighbours that they let me visit their horses.. but i'm an introvert.. i've lived here 8 years and still haven't been able to approach them.. they are nice enough.. i live rural & this couple was the towns veterinarians.. we don't seem to cross paths enough tho to make casual talk.. so, i admire their equine beauties from afar.. perhaps i should make this an intention.. something to manifest.. it would force me out of my introverted shell.. a 2024 goal.. i know, after 8 years, what makes me think the 9th will be the magic year? because i could make it a priority.. 

oh and i didn't see their horses, tho it was still a beautiful walk..

winter overtook autumn in a rush

i don't know why i fall off the face of the blogging earth.. i love to write and photograph, i love to journal and document.. so where do i go when i go silent? i get lost and i lose my way.. 

autumn slipped away so quickly.. winter erupted in a rush, without so much as an Indian Summer.. perhaps it was perfectly and naturally timed and i was so busy doing other things that i failed to notice.. yeah, that's probably so.. 

meet Carl

meet Carl.. he is 5 weeks old & perfect.. we have taken care of a feral cat litter of 6.. finding them loving, forever homes.. one being ours.. he is bonding with Mark and the others kitties, Ava & Liv, are still a little threatened by his presence, but it's to be expected.. beautiful little guy..