2024

i made it thru another year, fairly unscathed.. i'm happy & inspired & optimistic.. 

sunrise spectacular

the sunrise was stunning this morning.. i was up well before the sun, so when the sky started turning into a paint by numbers, i went outside with my camera.. surprised that it was warm enough to be out in a t-shirt.. hey, i'm Canadian.. 50 degrees IS t-shirt weather..  in the sky, the crows were emerging from their roost.. in the woods, the deer were still bedded down.. in the house, my husband slept with the 3 cats..  hot coffee in one hand, camera in the other.. i watched the sunrise spectacular.. 

seeking horses to be my friend

i'm not sure what i want to jibber jabber about yet, so i'll just put fingers to keyboard and see what spills out.. i went outside earlier, found some packages on my porch that were meant for my neighbours.. our driveways oddly intersect.. these neighbours live behind me, on a long and winding dirt road.. now that the leaves have fallen off the trees, i can see their horses grazing up on the hill.. perhaps i'm a typical girl in the sense that i find horses magical.. so i went for a walk with their packages to drop them off.. in hopes of seeing their horses out.. what a gorgeous walk.. some deer were eating in a clearing, watching me, watching them.. i want to become friendly enough with these neighbours that they let me visit their horses.. but i'm an introvert.. i've lived here 8 years and still haven't been able to approach them.. they are nice enough.. i live rural & this couple was the towns veterinarians.. we don't seem to cross paths enough tho to make casual talk.. so, i admire their equine beauties from afar.. perhaps i should make this an intention.. something to manifest.. it would force me out of my introverted shell.. a 2024 goal.. i know, after 8 years, what makes me think the 9th will be the magic year? because i could make it a priority.. 

oh and i didn't see their horses, tho it was still a beautiful walk..

winter overtook autumn in a rush

i don't know why i fall off the face of the blogging earth.. i love to write and photograph, i love to journal and document.. so where do i go when i go silent? i get lost and i lose my way.. 

autumn slipped away so quickly.. winter erupted in a rush, without so much as an Indian Summer.. perhaps it was perfectly and naturally timed and i was so busy doing other things that i failed to notice.. yeah, that's probably so.. 

moody morning sky

 the deep sky so opinionated

we had a long conversation at dawn

i got married today

 

it seems like it's just following the natural order of things & at the same time, seems surreal.. i married the love of my life today.. i am blessed.. 

anaplasmosis positive

 

i finally got my test results back & i'm positive for ANAPLASMOSIS.. i figured as much, but now it's confirmed.. i'm glad the doctor suspected as much & got me on the antibiotic stat, on a hunch.. i am glad i went to the hospital when i did.. 

anyway, i don't want to dwell in dark places.. i want to get back to my normal creative self.. i haven't created in so long.. i need it.. i don't feel like ME without it.. so today i shall try to let that side of me out, give it time to play.. even tho we have a LOT of stuff going on, too much to name.. i know what i need.. 

the weather is kind of keeping us indoors.. heat wave, extreme humidity & the smoke coming down from the wildfires in Canada is making it hard to be outside for long.. we get up by 5a to get outdoor chores done early, while it's cool.. we are coming up on the hottest part of the day, so it's a perfect excuse to be inside.. 

anaplasmosis

i know i need to get writing again.. so much has happened in my life as of late.. i could write a laundry list, but that just sounds like a complaint list.. i don't want to give any attention or energy to the negative.. 

i'm doing a bit of convalescing.. this hasn't been confirmed yet, still waiting on blood tests to come back, but i am proactively treating what is thought to be ANAPLASMOSIS.. a tick borne virus.. i live rural with woods all around me.. i pick ticks off me routinely.. when i was younger & lived in Canada, we had woodticks.. they were big, easy to see, totally easy to know if you got bit.. tho here in upstate New York, we have deer ticks.. and a baby deer tick can be so small that it's smaller than a speck of black pepper.. i've had to take a magnifying glass to confirm it's a tick.. so, i imagine not noticing one of those tiny buggers is easy to do.. and i do A LOT of tick checks.. 

anyway

it is believed that yes, one of those buggers got me.. as least that is what i'm being treated for.. 

the first sign? fevers.. when mine shot up to 104.2, i did the Covid test, negative.. and the fatigue.. whew

once you mention it to someone, then the stories come back as how rampant this tick borne illness is.. so & so's dogs have it, the neighbour had it, everyone knows someone.. .. .. so add me to that miserable list of statistics.. 

be careful ya'll, if you share your space with deer, as i do.. if you love the woods.. try PERMETHRIN treated clothes.. just be careful if you have cats, as they are the only animals sensitive to it.. 

be well

be happy

and love your life

happy mums day 2023

happy mums day

i lost my mum quite a few years ago.. and instead of writing about my odd history with my mum.. i simply want to honour her.. 

 

positive journal prompt - 26 december 2022

 write about a time when you hesitated but then went out & socialized with others and had a great time

maybe it's the time of year, coming up on the New Year, that instantly brought this memory to the forefront of my thoughts.. somewhere in the the time frame of 1999-2001.. in Canada.. it was New Years Eve and i had my evening all set out.. i'd made some comfort food, gotten into my pajamas and was settling in to watch a Kids In The Hall marathon on tv.. the perfect evening for any introvert.. then the phone started ringing.. i rolled my eyes & i don't know why i answered the phone, but i did.. it was Leenie & Desi & Snowy [the work gang] begging me to come out with them.. after many grumbled NO's, i let myself be talked into it.. it takes about 25 minutes to get from the Reserve to my Apt, so i had plenty of time to get dressed & made up.. 

we went to Club 445.. not the real name of the club, but i don't remember the name.. it was nicknamed 445 by way of how many Indians [ahem, Native Americans.. growing up, i only knew we were Indians.. no politically incorrectness happening on the Rez] frequented the club.. 445 was the telephone area code on the Rez.. 

at the club, no one wanted to be the first on the dance floor, so LeeAnn & i went out and got the ball rolling.. a couple girls without shame nor shyness.. 

i remember being outside for fresh air & finding Brento curled up on the ground under the back wheels of his Suburban.. apparently too much alcohol & coke.. he was so cold.. so we got him in a car & drove him home.. we dumped him inside his house on the floor.. his Dad apparently stumbled over him during the night, giving him the nickname SpeedBump that remained with him among our circle.. 

i left Canada soon after this.. but i DID end up having a good time that night..

side note: as fun as that night was & i remember with a smile.. i can't help think about LeeAnn & Leenie as they both lost young daughters.. 

snowy saturday

 

i woke up this morning at 4.30a to find the hydro [power] out.. luckily we'd just barked up the woodstove, so we were in no worries of being cold.. it sure is dark out here in the woods without a light to be seen anywhere.. we got a bit of snow from the storm that moved across the country.. i'm here in upstate New York, so we are near the end of that storm.. so i curled up on the couch with my kitty Ava and read a book with my clip on light.. 

the fella roused a couple hours after me.. we lit some candles, i put water on the woodstove for tea & coffee.. put peanuts & sunflower seeds on the window ledge for the critters.. we got quite the pile of snow.. heavy, wet snow.. a huge part of a maple tree came down in the yard,. it was turning into a woodpecker tree.. the pileated woodpeckers love that tree behind the firepit.. luckily it missed the trailer & the she-shed & the apple trees.. 

i had to go outside.. it was barely light and i'm trudging thru deep snow with my camera.. so darn pretty.. every direction i turned, it looked like a postcard.. the snow is so insulating.. no sounds of the living yet.. even the birds hadn't roused.. i managed to occupy myself easily enough with painting, reading, writing part of a letter to my sister.. till the power came back on just before noon..  

windy night

 

it's getting late & i'm sitting up watching a movie.. Roman Holiday .. i'm really not one for romance movies, but -  ah, i'm a sucker for Gregory Peck.. and Audrey Hepburn is easy on the eyes too.. & i suppose it isn't the happy ending type of romance movies, the guy doesn't get the girl in the end..

it's a windy night here, so very windy.. so much so that my house creaks & groans.. sometimes i can feel the air create a vacuum inside.. i am surrounded by trees, i suppose that is what makes the wind sound louder.. wind sounds different on flat land.. it sounds different no matter what it is passing thru & over & around.. i wonder if most people consider this? wind in the city, has a different sound, as it whirls around the sharp corners of large buildings.. it sounds different as it creates waves on the ocean.. i respect the wind.. it always demands my attention.. here we have a hill that is just pines & the wind thru pines is a sound that is so distinct & haunting.. the maples bend & the oaks creak & aspens have a bit of a whistle.. anyway, this isn't meant to be a lesson on wind.. it is just so loud & gusting.. like it demands a bit of recognition.. [so granted]

we had a bit of thunder too.. thunder on the last day of November.. seems a bit odd for upstate New York.. but i find i'm not surprised by the odd weather patterns anymore.. what with climate change & global warming.. out of place & unexpected weather is becoming a norm.. ah, don't get me started.. 

i suppose i should shut this down & get myself tucked into bed next to the fella & my ava-kitty.. i'm always awake before the skies turn light.. my old black & white movie is over now.. so g'nite ya'll..

my foggy woods

some people see a grey, foggy morning.. but i see it as an opportunity to go outside before sunrise & walk into my woods.. to me, it's hauntingly beautiful.. the air is thick & carries sound differently.. it layers itself upon each foot fall of the deer.. my woods are in a bit of a valley and when the pond overflows, it creates a stream that meanders down.. the abundant slate & rocks turn it into a babbling brook.. the dip in elevation & the water - give the fog a hesitation.. the fog lingers till the sun crests the hill & slowly burns off.. my woods are nearly magical..

how quickly my landscape changes

took this photo a couple days ago.. the gorgeous colours of autumn.. a very windy day yesterday completely changed my landscape.. sitting here, early morning, it's amazing how much more sky i can see thru the trees, in just one day.. the sky is orange as the sun it just creeping up.. sunrise for me is a little later, as it has to crest the mountains in the east.. 

i'm tired.. i woke up at 3.30a and tried to get back to sleep.. at 4a i came out to the living room, curled up under a heated blanket.. tried again to doze off.. nope.. by 5a, i just got up and made myself a coffee.. it is going to be a beautiful day here in upstate New York.. sunny, warm.. it's only 36 degrees right now, but we are trending to reach 68 degrees.. i am going to sit outside and let the creative parts of me take over.. 

under the maple tree

i briefly fell asleep and my fingers on the keyboard, backspaced and deleted the whole post.. so.. off to bed i shuffle.. i leave you with this image of today, under the maple tree.. 

love for autumn

there isn't an autumn day that passes without me feeling in awe of my surroundings.. i live on a windy road somewhere between the Adirondack Mountains of New York and the Green Mountains of Vermont.. 

the above photo is the top of my driveway, seen from the road.. blink and you'd miss it.. there is a twisty driveway that slopes down into a small clearing, where my log cabin house sits..

when it rains, the satellite tv goes out, when it's windy, the power goes out, when it's cold, we bark up the wood stove.. when our water pipes froze, i drew water from the pond.. we don't have cell phones, there is no cell service.. in a world where everyone is living "smartly", we are nurturing our spirits mindfully, naturally.. turning more and more to simplicity..

i interact with nature every day and it truly feeds my soul.. i never take for granted any of the daily interactions i have with nature & the wildlife.. every moment i share space with a deer, a fox, a raccoon - i know i am blessed.. when i hear the coyotes yip and the owls hoot - i know i am blessed.. 

i would never want to live anywhere that didn't have the bold seasons like here.. every seasons change, i am filled with nostalgia.. i get to fall in love with that remembrance and that newness that comes from the onslaught of a new season.. 

ahh.. just spreading some love for autumn..

happy birthday lil sis

today is my lil sis's birthday..  i remember before she was born, i would put my head on mum's stomach and have long conversations with her.. i was just shy of 4 years old.. who knows what kind of things 4 year old me what telling her, but yet i felt i knew her.. it felt like i missed her.. 

oddly enough, we looked so much alike at birth that even mum couldn't tell us apart in baby photos.. we both weighed in at the same wee bit of 5 lbs 5 oz.. i often wondered if we were twins born 4 years apart.. maybe that is why i missed her.. we've always has a strong bond.. we have often had the same dreams on the same night.. ah, there are many seemingly unexplained connections between us.. anyway.. 

                       HAPPY UTERINE EVACUATION DAY CHICKY!

all day rain

it has been an all day rain today.. it's entering dusk and it's still raining.. it's good if you are a flower or a frog in a flower pot.. so what do i do when it rains? i enjoy some rain, of course..  i also made a pot of soup for my fella, snuggled the kitty when it thundered & started a new book.. if i stick with it & finish it, i will share.. now maybe i'll indulge in some guilty pleasure & get my true crime fix with some lazy, rainy night tv..  

the bones of tired trees

there is something about a fallen tree that gets to me.. something so powerful & strong.. did it just give up? was it coaxed down by the wind? perhaps it was a sacrifice, for this downed tree has become a refuge for so many critters.. it has become its own eco-system.. the deer shelter from the wind, the foxes perch on top for a better view, the woodpeckers have their lunches here, mushrooms & moss have taken up the shady side.. from tree frogs to turkeys.. it's a gift for them.. 

i wish i could've heard it fall.. trees cracking as they give up their posture, is a sound like nothing else.. the very bones breaking and the tiny earthquake that follows..  it's almost an eerie feeling..