soul healing

first of all, i keep forgetting i have this blog.. i'm not going to promise to be better at blogging, because i will forget again.. i keep so many journals.. and each one give me a different vibe.. enough of that, why i came here tonight is to talk about some new friends i made.. 

these 3 beauties.. i don't even know their names yet.. i believe i manifested this meeting.. i have been NEEDING horses in my life.. i keep them on the forefront of my manifesting dreams.. this is the year of the fire horse 2026.. so i know that to manifest anything, one has to make space for it.. simply wanting something is good, yet to bring it in, there needs to be a space for it.. a void, almost.. so i acquired some vintage rusty horse bits.. i decided to hang them in my zen dopamine garden.. i tacked them to the trees.. i look at them all the time.. drawing the spirit of horses to me.. my first memory is of horses when i was 3 1/2 years old.. i need horses in my life.. so the opportunity comes along, a customer of Marks.. he comes home from meeting the gentleman saying "he has horses".. i felt my heart skip & my inner child was dancing.. oh, i knew this was going to happen.. so when this gentleman Matt came over to do business with Mark, i went up to him, introduced myself & asked if i could meet his horses.. 

and it happened.. the other day.. these 3 gorgeous horses.. one horse is super friendly, loved my company.. was playful, a bit animated.. the huge horse is quiet.. a beast of an animal, friendly but didn't seek out my attention..  the white one is a senior, had been feeling down, grew thin.. i spent time with each horse.. i felt i was brought to them as much as they were brought to me.. i am a healer.. i can say this with confidence.. i could list a novel of testimonials.. so while in the silence, with the air heavy.. the white horse came up to me, leaned against me, head hung low & shared space with me in a different way then the others did.. our energy in an infinity loop.. his breath upon me, my hands upon him.. i could see the energy move between us.. eyes closed, 2 trusting souls sharing.. both of us healing the other.. 

i am struggling to find the right words to describe this interaction.. i can't.. words like magical, euphoric, blessed.. everything sounds so colorless.. nothing holds enough sparkle, they haven't come up with words, colors bright enough to describe this.. this all, it fed my soul, or spirit, or being, or core.. and it wasn't just taking it in.. it was giving it back.. i never had any doubts or fear or apprehension.. i needed to get to this horse.. we shared our breath.. 

so today, Mark went to see the gentleman, i didn't insist on going.. i know i will be visiting these incredible animals again.. i will learn their names & as much as i felt an urgency to meet them, i am calm now knowing there will be plenty more times.. so when Mark came home, i simply said "the white horse is feeling somewhat better, isn't he?"  yes..  thank you Universe for this kindred spirit connection.. 

keep on the sunny side of life

short story - back in early March, my sister L sent me a photo taken by one of her friends.. he took a photo of his mother on a subway.. the oncoming trains lights centered perfectly in the eyes of his mothers reflection in the glass.. it's an amazing photo.. and i found myself deeply moved by it.. the woman in the photo had such a defeated energy about her.. i needed to know her name.. i called my sis up and she relayed the info she learned from her son [the photographer].. she took the reflection as an omen, like a demon within her.. she was of failing health & the prognosis was grim.. 

my intuition & insight was strong.. i felt tapped into her thru that photo and i began to just speak of what i was seeing & feeling.. 

the only demon she carries is one of defeat.. she has an illness & she wore that illness like a mask.. it owned her, she was so far hidden behind it that the mask became her only identity.. every time she looked in the mirror & saw a victim, she fed that negative energy.. dis-ease feeds upon negative energy.. she needed to cut the life line on that illness.. how? by clamping off that energy.. how to do that? by replacing it with positive energy.. fill that same space with love, comfort, joy, happiness.. dis-ease can't live in a space so full of light..  start with looking in the mirror and loving yourself.. thank your body and your cells for how healthy they are.. for how divinely healthy they are.. 

being healthy is a choice.. choose to be happy.. it starts with self love.. change the energy so that dis-ease is choked off.. it gives it an environment it simply cannot live in.. 

as i was talking to her, i didn't realize she had me on speaker phone & her son was listening.. would i have been able to be as unabashedly candid had i known someone else was listening? 

i had printed out that photo, back in March.. and a couple days ago, i was shuffling thru some papers on my desk & this photo jumped out.. i spent a few moments looking at her, wondering about her.. 

the next day, my sister calls "do you remember that photo of the lady .. etc"  of course i do.. well, she is having a happy Thanksgiving with her family.. she is well enough to do some of the cooking.. she was relayed my words and took them to heart.. 

and she is now thriving.. 

what am i thankful for? that the perfect chain of events lead for our paths to cross..

always trust your intuition.. and never doubt the power of positive thinking/feeling.. 

birthday blessings

it has been a beautiful day.. i don't celebrate my birthday, but try telling that to people that love you.. i keep my circle small.. i can literally count them on one hand.. and each one of them shared time & space with me in some way today.. i am blessed.. since i don't know my kitty Avas birthday, i honour her on my own birthday.. i make it special for her.. she got snuggle time in the sun with me on the bed, she got treats, she got a shelf put up on the bedroom window so she can have a bird watching perch.. which i benefit from too.. i stretched my hand out with some peanuts on it and was immediately surprised by a chickadee & a tufted titmouse landing on my palm.. 

just now, i heard a ruckus outside, so i opened the window & shined my flashlight out & there is a chubby, fluffy raccoon hanging on the gate door, trying to noisily figure out how to get to the window sill where he can smell the little bit of cereal that the birds & squirrels didn't finish up.. so i tossed him a handful of dry cat food.. he is crunching away while the fella & i talk to him.. my flashlight catches the eyes of a deer bedded down & trying to sleep for the night in the shallow under the pine tree.. 

i love my life.. the things that most people probably overlook & not even notice, are the little miracles that show me just how blessed i am.. 

hinge pins standing in for pennies

the sun is just now beginning to break thru the morning mist.. it's going to be a warmish day today.. my house is quiet except for a squirrel that is knocking things over on my [not so] screened in porch.. it just makes me giggle.. not sure how the fella is managing to stay asleep thru the racket.. 

last night i was talking to my sister on the phone and we were talking about a friend [one of the collected coven] and how she had a penny fling itself to the floor while they were in bed.. i thought of "pennies from heaven".. whether or not you believe in heaven, but the gesture [in my belief] is loved ones that are trying to communicate.. those on a different level than us.. and just as we were talking of this, something launched itself noisily to my floor.. she heard it thru the phone.. when i went looking to see what it was, i have a lap tray and it was the hinge pin that ejected itself.. this pin isn't under tension or coiled.. if it had worn itself loose, it would have simply fallen below.. this was launched far away with a very loud clanging.. even scared my kitty.. this tray hadn't been touched in a day.. 

and.. on that thought.. today is my Dad's birthday.. it's been 32 years since i've been in the same tangible space as him..

pennies from heaven, or hinge pins.. yeah.. they have ways of communicating.. 

daily dose of .. weege - 14october2022

[insert gratitude here]

dwellings in art - page one

 a new art project

i have been inspired by a post i saw on twitter.. if the link works here, i will share.. Francisco Fonseca .. i decided to try something similar.. it is most definitely out of my comfort zone.. i love to draw animals & trees & people.. i love detail, so drawing each hair, fur, feather & leaf excites me.. i've never really thought about buildings.. what with their straight lines & definitive structure.. i am not a fan of sharp edges & rigid corners.. i am a fan of messy, liquid, flowing shapes.. so yeah,  this is really putting my creativity to the test.. - and - i never just do one drawing.. i have to make it a project.. so i dusted off a new art book, made a title page [that is how i cement myself in to this idea] and i got drawing.. i started off in pencil, as that is just naturally my medium of choice, but if i am to push my comfort limits, i need to put the pencils away.. i pulled out my lunch box full of colouring pencils..

 

and so, this is my first dwelling.. i can see now that i reverted back to my comfort zone some.. this wasn't intentional.. do you see it? of all the buildings i could've chosen to draw, i picked one without strong lines or edges.. i leaned towards crumbling walls, swayback roof.. a lot of room for error.. too much room for error really.. so for my next one, i will try to pick something more structured.. it's not that i want to be uncomfortable while drawing, but rather i want to challenge myself.. it's too easy to sit and draw a bird, horse or tree.. i have been doing that since i was 5.. 

and.. i hope to see some improvement with each new piece.. the last project i took on was to do a study of flower vases in pencil.. i might have drawn 30 or so before i felt i had improved enough.. and really, i just knew one day i was done drawing them.. 

like last night when i knew i would wake this morning & draw dwellings for a spell.. i would love to know what you think.. should i attempt backgrounds, rolling hills, clouds? or would that pull away from the building? more shadows & highlights?  ah, it's late & i'm rambling.. 

"you may say i'm a dreamer.. but i'm not the only one"  - j.l.

musings - 21sept2022

 

i really need to stop watching true crime before going to bed.. it's a guilty pleasure of mine, but i feel i should end my day on a positive note or a moment of peace.. so i flipped the tv channel over to NatGeoWild and there is a show called In The Womb - Animal Babies, because well, how can ya not feel happy & fuzzy inside while watching baby animals? seriously tho, what a nifty show.. the photography is so amazing, i wonder quickly if it's CGI, but the more i watch, that is real babies in the womb.. just as the title says.. [back it up, did i just use the word nifty? yup.. my inner hippie is showing] looking back up to the tv, how cute are meerkats? 

i had a nice day today.. i cleaned my house early on.. the buzzing about, sweeping/mopping and such, had lil Ava all up on her toenails, so i spent some snuggle time with her.. we curled up on the bed in the afternoon sun for a spell.. i read for about an hour then got up to go for a walk outside.. i took kale stems & cauliflower stalks out to Winston the woodchuck [she's fattening up for her long slumber] leftovers after making a big pot of soup.. 

the fella just wandered thru carrying the jar of peanut butter & a bag of butter pretzels.. i already had my snack, baked corn chips with cilantro & lime hummus..

alrighty.. i think i will unplug & do a quick meditation & get my fanny to bed.. till tomorrow, be well, be happy & grateful.. 

be yourself - everyone else is taken

 

my sister called me a lil bit ago and we got talking about OCD.. is it a learned behaviour or is it something we are born with? genetic? environmental? so we talked about the varying degrees we've known it personally.. she called me out on it and i didn't recognize it at first.. so i looked at it from her point of view and yeah.. i'm a counter.. i count every swallow i take of water, how many times i splash water on my face [always 5].. how many times i rinse & spit when brushing my teeth [again, always 5].. i count cows in fields and geese flying south in the sky.. and so on.. and so on.. 

so i said to my sis that i don't have OCD.. because i didn't even realize i count so many things.. meaning, i am not a prisoner to counting.. i don't feel that it is debilitating, so how can it be OCD? she laughed.. not at me, but the irony.. i've often busted her balls about her routines.. not to say i was laughing at OCD, but we are a shoot from the hip bunch that never pussy foots around anything.. 

anyway, it was an interesting conversation that had us thinking back to childhood situations that felt like the beginning of some of our compulsive behaviours.. 

be who you are.. love yourself with all your quirks.. own all your flaws and flaunt your muchness!!

above all else, be yourself, everyone else is taken..  [wink]

neurographic art - 2nd attempt

 

last night, i sat up late, in my living room.. the fella had long been asleep, i could hear his snoring thrumming thru the house.. i turned the television off and sat doodling with just a clip on book light attached to my art pad..

the negative emotion i  had clinging to me was "disappointed".. in what? well, i was actually disappointed in myself over the 1st attempt at neurographic art.. i know, i am hard on myself and how is it anyone could be a perfectionist with something as transformative as art? but all artists out there hold themselves to their own standard.. the first attempt was fun as all hell, but i didn't like that the finished piece didn't FLOW to me.. it looked so pieced together.. 

this piece, my 2nd attempt.. i thought about my disappointment, and as i doodled, swirled and spun, i felt that negative emotion leave me thru way of my fingertips.. what a therapeutic exercise.. somewhere around midnight i was calm and really happy with this piece.. i decided to leave it without colour.. oh, i know i'll be exploring this type of art more.. 

a bit of my nightly routine

my evenings have fallen into a routine.. my fella & i hang out in separate rooms.. we like to spend our winding down time differently.. at 6p, he goes into the bedroom to watch the news.. then for him, it's usually sports, right now, baseball.. and he's a CNN junkie.. and i can't do news before bed.. it gets me up on my toes.. my kind of tv is true crime and paranormal.. when i am watching something on tv, i don't like to be interrupted.. i like to immerse myself in a show and it gets all my attention.. i am not one to leave a tv running for background noise.. i prefer silence, or my own thoughts or binaural beats.. so for a couple hours each night, i get some ME TV.. and now i'm winding down.. i open the computer and create a photo/quote image to send to my sister in the morning.. i thoroughly enjoy this part of my day.. it uplifts me to search for the perfect photo and join it to the affirmation or quote that calls out to me.. i am a font junkie, so scrolling thru hundreds of fonts is an odd pleasure for me..  after i am done with my blogging and computer work, i go into the bedroom and curl up in bed.. the fella is 2 cocktails into his own grogginess.. sometimes i meditate till sleep happens.. sometimes i read with my kindle on soft light.. 

does any of this have anything to do with the photo? well sure.. all of this is part of me creating my most joyful life.. i truly enjoy the majority of my days and nights.. 

creating my most happy life.. 

 

be the reason someone smiles today

 

just this.. nothing more..

this is the beginning of loving yourself

 i never know what i will title my blog posts until i'm done writing, because i never know what i'm going to ramble on about.. i open the laptop & start rambling.. letting my thoughts flow down to my fingers without any bumper rails.. 

i made this picture earlier with some flowers that grow wild along my drive way.. i love this quote.. if anyone stumbles across my blog, even if you don't make it thru my ramblings, i know that you'll at least see & hopefully read my talking photos.. self-love, self-care is so important.. how can we give anything to others if we don't start with ourselves.. 

repeat after me.. I LOVE MYSELF.. I LOVE MYSELF.. I REALLY DO LOVE MYSELF..  feel it.. then pass it on..  💚

new moon intentions

 

new moon is at 4.17a.. late tonight, or early morning.. depending on when you go to bed.. and since there is no moon to capture, i will use a photo i took some time ago of the moon.. 

the new moon, when the moon is completely in the shadows.. almost NO moon, is the perfect time to set an intention.. the new moon is a time to start fresh.. 

i sometimes have a complete & well thought out new moon ritual.. with candles & oracle cards.. with crystals & sage.. i believe rituals are simply a way for us to connect.. like taking a thought & attaching an action to it.. it seems to make it more tangible.. kind of like writing something down.. an intention/thought/desire isn't any less in strength than one that is dressed up in the trappings of whatever ritual makes you comfortable.. it's all about your mood.. and tonight, it is raining, so i can't go outside & set up my porch table/altar.. and that is okay for me.. tonight i will do my ritual a little more internally.. i will write out what it is i want to manifest during this moon cycle.. for my new moon intention, i like to have a little fun with it.. i always have a base line of good energy that swirls around divine wellness & joy & good fortune.. so my intentions will be something a little more specific.. something i can focus good vibes on & SEE results.. 

i always write out what i wish to manifest during the current moon cycle.. writing it down is like signing a contract with the Universe.. i infuse positive, loving energy into my writing.. 

i never share my intentions while in the act of manifestation.. i still carry over a superstitious thread from my native american upbringing.. as much as i don't want to taint my thoughts with negative mojo, i can't shake my belief in jinxes.. 

perhaps in the future i will set out, photograph & document a full new moon ritual.. tho not tonight.. i'm simply too tired/lazy.. 

what do you desire? 

give it all your positive energy.. FEEL as if you already have it.. think about how happy having ____ makes you feel.. know that it is possible to have it, that you deserve it.. hold that thought for a minute, 2 minutes.. feel that joy, and you know what? you just affected the energy around you.. manifestation has begun.. don't believe me? give it a try.. 

i am open to creative possibilities for manifesting my abundant life

so go on and manifest that shit! 

that's what i'm about to do.. then fall into bed.. good night.. 

choose to see more beauty than bother

i don't know where i first came across this phrase, but it has become a staple in my thoughts.. there are so many times when i find myself letting out a sigh, a hum n haw, a roll my eyes moment.. and i have to take a deep breath.. then i remember this phrase and it is all about perspective.. we can't always control what comes at us, but we can control how we re-act.. 

it could be someone presenting you with their own negative energy.. instead of being a lemming and following their vibration, make a choice.. and choose higher.. 

if you don't like the frequency they are on, why join them? -  switch channels..

you could wake up and see its raining.. choose to see the beauty in that.. the rain replenishes and rejuvenates.. it cleanses and nourishes.. there is a lot of beauty in a beautiful rainy summer day..

this is another page from my affirmation journal.. 

i get up and make myself move

 

i have been going thru a hard time and while i may need to talk thru it to heal, now is not the time.. the wound is too fresh.. but even in my sorrow, i know i need to at least go thru the movements of somewhere calm, something joyous, somehow peaceful.. 

another of my "i love myself" project creations.. i hope someone out there that may need a moment of comfort, finds this and feels even 1% better.. 

i love myself project

 

every day i send my sister a little inspirational note thru email.. i call it the "i love myself project".. without revealing too much about her, i believe that everyone can benefit from a moment of self-love.. without self-love, how can one turn love outwards?  it's the premise that we attract to us, what we emit.. so the more love we can feel.. the more like minded love returns.. 

the law of attraction.. 

i ask her to do one thing, open the email. and read it out loud.. repeat it.. i know that for a moment of her day, she is being filled with love.. every day is something different.. but they all hopefully bring her some inspiration in some way.. and the ones that resonate with her, she passes along to her best friend.. 

seems to be a pinch of love that keeps giving.. because as i am creating them [looking for a photo on the internet, matching up a quote to go with it, picking out a font]  i read them, i feel them.. so they really are coming from a place of love.. 

and well, i want to continue this snippet of paying it forward.. if i can bring a smile or even a tiny fragment of time where someone out there feels even 1% more love, then it's worth it.. 

[say it out loud]

[repeat]

ukiyo

i love this word and what it means so much that i chose to name my current journal this.. yes, this is the front page of my journal.. and yes, i name things such as journals.. i don't name every thing, that would just be a little crazy.. but i do name important things to me.. even when setting up a new kindle reader, it asks you to name it.. [btw, my kindle is named = warthog] 

so my journal is ukiyo.. i read it every time i open my journal.. before i begin writing.. it brings a moment of calm about me.. once i feel that calm, then i can begin to write and when i write, i am infusing my energy into it.. my energy is what forms my words.. 

so i think this image being the first is appropriate.. it sets a mood for this blog.. a take a deep breath and feel comfort and joy mood..