soul healing

first of all, i keep forgetting i have this blog.. i'm not going to promise to be better at blogging, because i will forget again.. i keep so many journals.. and each one give me a different vibe.. enough of that, why i came here tonight is to talk about some new friends i made.. 

these 3 beauties.. i don't even know their names yet.. i believe i manifested this meeting.. i have been NEEDING horses in my life.. i keep them on the forefront of my manifesting dreams.. this is the year of the fire horse 2026.. so i know that to manifest anything, one has to make space for it.. simply wanting something is good, yet to bring it in, there needs to be a space for it.. a void, almost.. so i acquired some vintage rusty horse bits.. i decided to hang them in my zen dopamine garden.. i tacked them to the trees.. i look at them all the time.. drawing the spirit of horses to me.. my first memory is of horses when i was 3 1/2 years old.. i need horses in my life.. so the opportunity comes along, a customer of Marks.. he comes home from meeting the gentleman saying "he has horses".. i felt my heart skip & my inner child was dancing.. oh, i knew this was going to happen.. so when this gentleman Matt came over to do business with Mark, i went up to him, introduced myself & asked if i could meet his horses.. 

and it happened.. the other day.. these 3 gorgeous horses.. one horse is super friendly, loved my company.. was playful, a bit animated.. the huge horse is quiet.. a beast of an animal, friendly but didn't seek out my attention..  the white one is a senior, had been feeling down, grew thin.. i spent time with each horse.. i felt i was brought to them as much as they were brought to me.. i am a healer.. i can say this with confidence.. i could list a novel of testimonials.. so while in the silence, with the air heavy.. the white horse came up to me, leaned against me, head hung low & shared space with me in a different way then the others did.. our energy in an infinity loop.. his breath upon me, my hands upon him.. i could see the energy move between us.. eyes closed, 2 trusting souls sharing.. both of us healing the other.. 

i am struggling to find the right words to describe this interaction.. i can't.. words like magical, euphoric, blessed.. everything sounds so colorless.. nothing holds enough sparkle, they haven't come up with words, colors bright enough to describe this.. this all, it fed my soul, or spirit, or being, or core.. and it wasn't just taking it in.. it was giving it back.. i never had any doubts or fear or apprehension.. i needed to get to this horse.. we shared our breath.. 

so today, Mark went to see the gentleman, i didn't insist on going.. i know i will be visiting these incredible animals again.. i will learn their names & as much as i felt an urgency to meet them, i am calm now knowing there will be plenty more times.. so when Mark came home, i simply said "the white horse is feeling somewhat better, isn't he?"  yes..  thank you Universe for this kindred spirit connection.. 

meet Carl

meet Carl.. he is 5 weeks old & perfect.. we have taken care of a feral cat litter of 6.. finding them loving, forever homes.. one being ours.. he is bonding with Mark and the others kitties, Ava & Liv, are still a little threatened by his presence, but it's to be expected.. beautiful little guy.. 

connecticut koi

i met this beautiful koi in a pond in Connecticut.. 3 feet long and gorgeous.. the lady that lived there invited me to sit on her dock & feed her koi.. it felt almost magical.. it was early morning & the sun was glaring on the ponds surface.. the koi were plentiful.. 

good morning this saturday

good morning.. it's a beautiful morning here on the six acres woods.. birds are singing and the sun is shining.. it's still very cool out this morning but since we are looking at a warm day here, i will be out there as soon as the sun gets high enough in the sky to warm my spot on the porch.. my house is softly sleeping.. Liv is stretched out on my lap.. i just finished my first cup of coffee and it's time to get dressed.. i forgot to lay out some clothes last night so i'll have to see if i left clothes in the dryer.. opening my creaky closet would for sure disrupt the slumber in the house.. i'm one of those girls that the quieter i try to be, the louder i am.. 

oh, i just had one of those body stretches that starts out as a simple yawn, then works it's way down your arms, thru your core, travels down your legs and exits your toes.. 

and i recite my daily affirmation

DEAR UNIVERSE

THANK YOU FOR THIS DAY

I EXPECT GOOD THINGS

SURPRISE ME WITH SOMETHING WONDERFUL TODAY

 

spring squirrels and broken ribs

winter is winding down finally here on my 6 acre postage stamp on the new york/vermont border.. even for this area, this winter has been long.. we still have a foot of snow on the ground on the shady dips of land that the sun cannot reach yet, tho each day, the sun tracts higher in the sky.. rising earlier, lingering longer.. 

i yearn to be outside.. i began some spring clean up outside a few days ago, only for my body to betray me in the form of a dislocated or cracked rib.. it really doesn't matter the correct term, as anyone who has ever hurt a rib, it might as well be broken, because they all hurt like a MF.. and they all require the same healing advice.. rest.. so i have been rendered useless.. okay, not useless, but certainly not productive like i normally am.. living the way i do, there isn't time for convalescing.. there are seeds to sow, food to gather, canning, fermenting, preserving.. 

i guess the Universe is trying to tell me something.. perhaps i need to slow down? self-care? 

 

bonded pair of cardinals

 

has it really been a month since i last made a blog post? wow.. and here i sit, again on the eve of a full moon.. feeling wordy.. and then sitting here for 10 minutes between sentences.. 

last night i woke up at 1.02a.. my kitty Ava jumped into the window.. i'm a light sleeper, just her shifting her body wakes me up.. out the window, the moon so bright on the foot of snow we recently got.. so we sat there, watching a bunny hop around under the rose of sharon bush.. i love all the critters that i am blessed to share space with.. even the squirrel that bit me a couple days ago.. he just over shot the almond i was offering up.. he was all excited, it being the first almonds of the day & other squirrels were rushing in.. 

that's all i got in me tonight.. so i leave you with a beautiful bonded pair of northern cardinals.. i'm going to get back to eating my blue corn tortilla chips with salsa.. 

good night ya'll

meet LIV

 

this little lovely entered our family a few days ago.. i got a surprise phone call the other day from my neighbour who asked me if i would consider taking her.. like permanently.. the fella & i have spent some time babysitting her in the past & she definitely left a lasting impression on us.. the neighbour only said that their pitbull grabbed a hold of her & she was afraid in her own home.. we talked about it & decided we had the love & energy to take her in.. 

upon picking her up, i became fully aware of her situation.. the pitbull grabbed her by the head & shook her violently.. this happened weeks ago.. they didn't take her to the vets.. the traumatized cat secluded itself in an uninhabited upstairs area.. wounded, fearful & lonely.. her many wounds are still healing.. they have had this sweet girl for 11 years.. and this is how they treat her? damn she deserves a better life.. 

when i would babysit her, i took her over homegrown catnip, scratchy toys, bird feathers, treats.. and every time i would visit her, all the toys would be shoved under the couch, catnip & treats not touched..  [erghhh]

so in just a few days, she has become our LIV.. [as in, she deserves a chance to really LIVE] she is thriving.. she has a complete play area, fresh daily catnip.. she is slowly learning that a dog isn't around every corner.. she is the sweetest girl.. so affectionate.. we LOVE her here.. our other kitty Ava is still a little shy with her, but she's a sweet girl too.. they will be happy sisters soon..

we lost our 2 boy cats over the past year & we talked about getting another cat.. of course everyone wants a kitten.. but i feel that when something is meant to be, it will happen.. so LIV was meant to be ours.. yeah, she's 11 years old & we are happy knowing we are giving her a better life.. 

good night 2022

i just backspaced over a long paragraph, because my rambling sounded a little too much like complaining and i don't want to go out on 2022 sounding sour.. so shifting gears.. 

i'm watching old black & white episodes of the Twilight Zone.. i grew up on these.. loved them then & still love them now.. 

i do so love the beginning of a new year.. ah, i think i'll save this new year rambling for tomorrow.. seems more appropriate after the new year has started.. maybe i'm a little superstitious.. like my Gramma Dot believed it was bad luck to hang a calendar early.. so i shall wait.. 

good night 2022

birthday blessings

it has been a beautiful day.. i don't celebrate my birthday, but try telling that to people that love you.. i keep my circle small.. i can literally count them on one hand.. and each one of them shared time & space with me in some way today.. i am blessed.. since i don't know my kitty Avas birthday, i honour her on my own birthday.. i make it special for her.. she got snuggle time in the sun with me on the bed, she got treats, she got a shelf put up on the bedroom window so she can have a bird watching perch.. which i benefit from too.. i stretched my hand out with some peanuts on it and was immediately surprised by a chickadee & a tufted titmouse landing on my palm.. 

just now, i heard a ruckus outside, so i opened the window & shined my flashlight out & there is a chubby, fluffy raccoon hanging on the gate door, trying to noisily figure out how to get to the window sill where he can smell the little bit of cereal that the birds & squirrels didn't finish up.. so i tossed him a handful of dry cat food.. he is crunching away while the fella & i talk to him.. my flashlight catches the eyes of a deer bedded down & trying to sleep for the night in the shallow under the pine tree.. 

i love my life.. the things that most people probably overlook & not even notice, are the little miracles that show me just how blessed i am.. 

my backyard this morning

the full moon is today which always brings on a wordy mood.. last nights insomnia & restless legs were awful.. it truly should be called restless body syndrome.. it feels like there is static electricity amped up inside my veins & it needs to come out.. i try to force my body to be still & it's a bizarre thing.. my toes actually twist of their own accord.. they move in ways that i can't move my toes on will.. being still is impossible.. from bed to couch to porch.. the moon so bright it amazes me that i can see so much, so far, into my woods.. i could see the 3 deer bedded down sleeping.. so this morning when i woke up, at sunrise, i found them still nestled into the fallen leaves.. photo op! this is last years fawn, i was talking to her.. this brings about such a sense of calm & contentment.. which i need.. full moons can be magical & mysterious.. if only i could quell the almost magnetic sensation inside me.. i can feel small flushes of adrenaline that borders on a hot flash.. tiny muscles twitch.. i am trying to find my zen to push down this suppressed mania..  okay, i gotta shush myself.. try to meditate or something.. 

thoughts on a warm autumn day

 

excerpt from todays journal entry - unedited

12october2022 wednesday

i am finally outside.. ahh, lovely.. out here with my Ava-butts.. i feel so content, so happy these days.. i am blessed.. i am grateful.. yesterday while i was having a late afternoon coffee, i spoke out loud without prior thought "i love you mum," it was a genuine thought.. not one forced.. i think i felt like i was embracing a part of her.. how she loved her sweet cream coffee any time of the day.. hmmm, i think forgiveness is happening as i didn't pull back on my maternal association..

as i write this, a strong breeze blows, i hear a tree crack not so far away.. i will have to look for the limb later.. so many leaves are falling.. it sends Ava into a frenzy.. she stalks & pounces the leaves that swirl down.. i tell her i am proud of her.. this is hunting to her.. it smells like nostalgia out here.. it smells like childhood amazement.. back when i had light brown hair & a birthmark on my calf.. back when i thought i could catch a crow.. i am still that skinny little kid.. i still collect maple leaves & press them into old books.. i didn't know what to do with them then & i don't know what to do with them now.. yet i still gather them up.. 

it's so fluffy!! [said in the voice of Agnes]

this little lady has been a frequent visitor here every twilight. a beautiful striped skunk.. i know the markings look more like a hooded skunk and similar to a hog nosed skunk.. but here in my region, upstate New York, it's a striped skunk.. just a gorgeous colour variation.. 

here she is having a little drink of water.. it rained all day, so the water is murky.. i will refresh it tomorrow.. her little paws are so cute.. 

the fur looks so soft.. a little earlier at twilight, mostly dark outside, but i could see the fur almost glowing, so i opened up my window, leaned out with my camera and she wasn't disturbed at all.. even with the flash going off.. i'm totally within spray range, maybe 4 feet above her, but she was more interested in the scraps on the ground.. 

ah, i love all my woodland critters.. 

i need sleep.. last nights insomnia piggy backed the full moon and invited restless leg syndrome to join.. i'm running on 3 hours of sleep.. so, say good night Gracie.. Good Night Gracie.. 

drawing with Ava - dwellings page two

 

this is what it looks like when i'm creating.. no  matter the project - i have my Ava kitty on my lap.. today i was lying on the bed to soak up some sun, since it was a little too cool to sit outside.. i got to doing another dwellings piece.. i picked a building with sharper lines.. it was fun.. and i'm sure using colouring pencils will get easier as i continue.. 

a bobcat pooped on my driveway

 

so yeah.. a bobcat pooped on my driveway today.. i was walking up the driveway to check the mailbox and i spot .. yup.. poop.. i live in upstate New York in a rural area.. my little postage stamp of property that i affectionately refer to as "the six acres woods"  how do i know it was bobcat poop? well, i've educated myself on such things, because i like to know what critters are frequenting my woods.. i've seen the bobcat on a few occasions.. i wonder, what makes a bobcat choose my driveway to poop on? is he being territorial? is he giving me a big F You? even my outdoor kitty knew enough to poop in the woods.. ah well.. i'm just jibber/jabbering.. 

and to spare ya'll a photo of bobcat poop, here's some cuteness.. my babygirl AVA..

frog in the flower pot

 

when walking by the corner of my porch, i spotted eyes down in the greenery.. i leaned in and saw this big frog sitting in my cast iron flower pot.. there is a pond on my property, but i think this guy has the right idea.. no competition and right above him is a bright solar light, so i bet he gets lots of bugs that are attracted to it at night..

my green plump garden gnome..

sharing space with deer

it's late & i should be in bed.. i know it's only 11.15p, but for me - it's late.. i can hear my fella snoring in bed & my kitty Ava is curled up against my leg, while i sit here on the couch in the living room.. 

why is 11.15p late? because at the first hint of dawn, i am awake & i just can not lay in bed.. i snap awake, spring out of bed & start my day.. i'd like to say that my years of having chickens rubbed off on me.. but nah, i kept the morning habits of chickens long before i had them.. & now that i don't have them anymore, i'm still up with the sun.. i was like this as a kid too.. i wake up so excited to start my day.. when i was little, i wouldn't get ready for bed in pajamas, i would change into my shorts & a t-shirt, so that as soon as i woke up, i could run outside.. the only difference now is i sleep in jammies, but i live in such a rural area, that i don't feel the need to get dressed.. the woodland critters don't mind my attire.. 

early morning is such a beautiful time of day.. my woods are alive with the critters waking up..

these deer, on my driveway, watching me - watching them.. this is a common morning scene.. 

this is beautiful

this is me feeling blessed

this is me thanking the spirit of the deer for sharing space with me

yeah.. i've gotta get my fanny to bed.. who knows what awaits me at dawn?

 

squirrel siesta

 

you know it's hot when the squirrels are too lazy to come down for a peanut.. ah, cute fella.. he stays pretty hydrated tho, he's forever draining my hummingbird feeder.. 

so i'm just sitting outside, in the shade of a big maple tree.. there is a nice breeze, so even tho it's hot, i NEED some outdoorsy time.. i would take the songs of birds and the chirps of tree frogs over television any day! 

my company [or what i like to call the days cast of characters.. the animals that share space with me] is a hot squirrel, a house wren [such a big voice that comes from such a tiny bird] cicadas buzzing [that distinctive sound of summer] honeybees, hummingbirds, dragonflies..

it's too warm to even ramble on, so i'm going to read for a bit.. 

donations for Ava and honoring the dude..

 

this is Ava.. the little love of my life.. we've been going thru a bit of a hard time lately.. 2 weeks ago we lost her brother BullsEye.. i have been meaning to write a post about him, but the void is so big, the edges so raw, i wasn't ready.. but i think i can do that now.. honor my little orange fella.. 

so, to say we've been a grieving household is an understatement.. my baby Ava had felt the loss too.. she usually slept in the living room with BullsEye, and for 2 weeks now, she's been glued to my hip all night, every night.. i noticed her eating habits change.. she needs to grieve too.. but then i realized she wasn't eating at all, then not drinking.. 

skip to today, emergency vet visit.. her grief has lead to a UTI, causing some other small issues.. but the $1,000 vet bill was a bit of a shock.. of course i know, that being a pet owner comes with a cost and of course i would do anything to keep my babies safe & well.. 

so here i am.. setting up a GoFundMe page to possibly help with this..

we are all still a little lost from losing the dude.. yeah, BullsEye was such a cool, laid back kitty, that we nicknamed him after the Big Lebowski [Lebowskitty].. he became the DUDE..  i am trying to honor him with love, joy & happy memories.. ah hell, it still doesn't feel real that he's gone.. 

i really am grateful for all the time i got to spend with him.. 

it's been a rough spell over here on the Six Acres Woods..

and saying SEE YA to the dude.. 

[update: 2026, april.. i still miss you Bullseye, with every fibre in my being dude.. i still love you.. why did you have to go?]