Saturday, April 29, 2023

grey damp day

 


it was a grey day.. all day.. not necessarily rainy.. but the kind of day where the air is damp.. yeah.. moist even.. isn't moist the most dirtiest sounding word that is just a normal word? but yeah, the air was damp.. misty.. can the air be considered humid when it's cold? it was like that.. you don't see any rain drops, but moisture collects on everything like dew.. dew during the daytime.. moist, but not quite  fog.. the weather kept me from sitting outside.. stuck inside, i didn't know what to do with myself.. i did some laundry, some dishes, some cooking, more dishes.. i lied down with my kitty for a spell.. i was waiting on some used books to be delivered.. so i kept wandering outside into the damp air to walk up my long driveway.. no books.. no mail yet.. and our driveway is bendy with lots of trees & bushes on the sides, so i have to walk at least 3/4 of the way up to even see the mailbox.. the door fell off the mailbox, so i can see inside from my 3/4 way stance.. yeah, no door on the mailbox, it fell off before the winter, before the propane truck backed out of the driveway and broke my mailbox off the post.. so every time it snowed, the snow plows would knock off my precariously balanced mailbox with no door, into the ditch, where i would have to dig it out of the snow bank.. scoop out the tight packed snow like the boys in Alive digging out the airplane when the avalanches came.. my mailbox, a mini fuselage.. every snow storm a mini avalanche.. now it's the rainy spring season, so i have to try and time my incoming mail strategically, or else i gather up soggy circulars & past due bills.. so while i'm waiting for my books to be delivered, i wander the driveway in the damp weather enough times to consider this my exercise for the day.. i find a dead woodchuck on the road at my driveway top on probably the 6th time on my trek to the mailbox.. this not only saddened me, but i felt a bit of panic.. oh please don't be Winston, the woodchuck that lives under my shed.. i pulled it off the road & into the grass.. it had markings that didn't look familiar, but i was still anxious to see Winston.. make sure, ease my mind.. i said a little prayer over the woodchuck in the grass on the side of the road.. finally, at 6pm, i get a notice in my email "package delivered" .. who the hell gets mail at 6 in the evening? i know i live rurally, but 6pm? delivering my mail feels like an after thought.. and why would i check my mailbox umpteen times a day when i have alerts on my computer? because the updates were odd & seemed random.. telling me it is out for delivery, but estimated arrival time is MONDAY.. when i headed out the door at 6pm, i saw Winston sitting next to her den, all meerkat like, eating on the kale i put out for her earlier.. i had to scream in joy at her.. "Winston!!  Love You"  she gives me a look & goes back to her kale.. i get my books before the damp air seeps into  them.. you know? i really need to get a new mailbox.. and secure it to a post.. my plane crash mailbox with no door and no landing gear.. with numbers i marker onto a piece of paper and tape to the side like an S.O.S note.. yeah, it was a damp, grey day.. it put me out of sorts.. winter has only been over for a month or so, and i already don't know what to do with myself when i can't be outside, in the sunshine & cool air.. sitting at my table on the porch with all my journals and pens and papers strewn about me.. weather forecast shows rain everyday for a week.. same place same time, see you back here for another update in the chronicles of my extraordinary ordinary life.. [smile - life is good]

Thursday, April 27, 2023

cut flowers and a spoiled raccoon

it's late, like creeping up on midnight.. i should've been in bed hours ago.. not that i have a bedtime hour.. but i like to rise with the sun.. i love mornings.. i'd say i'm a morning person, but i'm also a night person.. i've never required much sleep.. 

i got caught up watching a movie.. Beautiful Girls.. i haven't seen it in years.. i forgot how much i liked it.. then i heard Roxy the raccoon on the window sill & had to give him a head scratch and some snacks.. he's the sweetest wild animal ever.. 

i spent some time outside today, it was beautiful.. never even got up to 60 degrees.. my kind of weather.. i gathered some cut flowers in a mason jar, because i think there should always be some bits of nature in my house.. these are all we have blooming so far.. 3 different types of daffodils & some african violets.. i do see 4 tulips coming up.. these are all things that were here before i came along.. i appreciate them.. 

i need to crawl into bed with the fella.. he's deep into sleep.. ya know, when he's been asleep long enough for the snoring to quiet down.. my 2 kitties are curled up next to each other on the heated blanket.. tho Liv follows me everywhere.. as soon as i get comfy in bed, she will make her way in, fall asleep on my face.. heh, yeah really.. 

good night

 

Tuesday, April 25, 2023

do more things that bring you joy


i've been doing a lot of thinking lately about leveling up.. i've been in a bit of a rut.. not a rut as in the sense that i feel stuck or depressed, but more in a rut like i'm doing the same thing over & over that isn't lending itself to my growth.. in other words, my growth is at a stand still.. in all areas of my wellbeing..  my creative self, my emotional self, my mental self.. there are a lot of us inside here & they've all grown complacent and in need of a shake up.. some inspiration to bring learning & growth back into the mix.. 

so i was lying in bed last night and i thought to myself - "how do you expect things to change when you do the same thing over & over again"  so i'm switching up my routine, or rather i'm tossing my routine out the window.. 

my normal routine in the morning is to get up & spend some time on the sites where i make a few cents.. you know the sites.. nickel & diming my way to getting an Amazon gift card thru surveys, games, polls, clicks & videos etc.. i asked myself last night - "is this bringing me joy?" .. i love that i can get a couple gift cards a month, but the time it takes to make them and i'm really not enjoying myself.. it feels like a chore or a job i dread.. 

it is taking me away from the things that DO bring me joy.. like watching the sunrise, being in nature, playing with my cats, reading, writing, painting, drawing, photography, poetry, writing letters.. all these things bring me so much JOY.. so today, i am switching things up.. the sun has come up over the back 40, i laughed at my kitties running zoomies thru the house, i'm writing, i'm feeling grateful and inspired..

this photo is Roxy from last night.. i love this raccoon so much.. He stops by most nights for a head scratch and some snacks..  we help each other out.. He brings me such a sense of pure joy and kindness.. he is an instant energy boost.. and he gets some healthy nourishment.. last night it was almonds, dates & blueberries.. and this makes me think, am i putting the best nourishment into my own body? nope.. having a few nuts & berries throughout my day doesn't cancel out the cheese crackers & the chocolate chips i'm snacking on.. 

anyway
i am feeling inspired to switch things up.. so today, i am going to do everything differently.. backwards, upside down & inside out.. 

it's a beautiful day
i'm inspired
let's go get our happy on..