i got married today

 

it seems like it's just following the natural order of things & at the same time, seems surreal.. i married the love of my life today.. i am blessed.. 

anaplasmosis positive

 

i finally got my test results back & i'm positive for ANAPLASMOSIS.. i figured as much, but now it's confirmed.. i'm glad the doctor suspected as much & got me on the antibiotic stat, on a hunch.. i am glad i went to the hospital when i did.. 

anyway, i don't want to dwell in dark places.. i want to get back to my normal creative self.. i haven't created in so long.. i need it.. i don't feel like ME without it.. so today i shall try to let that side of me out, give it time to play.. even tho we have a LOT of stuff going on, too much to name.. i know what i need.. 

the weather is kind of keeping us indoors.. heat wave, extreme humidity & the smoke coming down from the wildfires in Canada is making it hard to be outside for long.. we get up by 5a to get outdoor chores done early, while it's cool.. we are coming up on the hottest part of the day, so it's a perfect excuse to be inside.. 

anaplasmosis

i know i need to get writing again.. so much has happened in my life as of late.. i could write a laundry list, but that just sounds like a complaint list.. i don't want to give any attention or energy to the negative.. 

i'm doing a bit of convalescing.. this hasn't been confirmed yet, still waiting on blood tests to come back, but i am proactively treating what is thought to be ANAPLASMOSIS.. a tick borne virus.. i live rural with woods all around me.. i pick ticks off me routinely.. when i was younger & lived in Canada, we had woodticks.. they were big, easy to see, totally easy to know if you got bit.. tho here in upstate New York, we have deer ticks.. and a baby deer tick can be so small that it's smaller than a speck of black pepper.. i've had to take a magnifying glass to confirm it's a tick.. so, i imagine not noticing one of those tiny buggers is easy to do.. and i do A LOT of tick checks.. 

anyway

it is believed that yes, one of those buggers got me.. as least that is what i'm being treated for.. 

the first sign? fevers.. when mine shot up to 104.2, i did the Covid test, negative.. and the fatigue.. whew

once you mention it to someone, then the stories come back as how rampant this tick borne illness is.. so & so's dogs have it, the neighbour had it, everyone knows someone.. .. .. so add me to that miserable list of statistics.. 

be careful ya'll, if you share your space with deer, as i do.. if you love the woods.. try PERMETHRIN treated clothes.. just be careful if you have cats, as they are the only animals sensitive to it.. 

be well

be happy

and love your life

happy mums day 2023

happy mums day

i lost my mum quite a few years ago.. and instead of writing about my odd history with my mum.. i simply want to honour her.. 

 

good morning this saturday

good morning.. it's a beautiful morning here on the six acres woods.. birds are singing and the sun is shining.. it's still very cool out this morning but since we are looking at a warm day here, i will be out there as soon as the sun gets high enough in the sky to warm my spot on the porch.. my house is softly sleeping.. Liv is stretched out on my lap.. i just finished my first cup of coffee and it's time to get dressed.. i forgot to lay out some clothes last night so i'll have to see if i left clothes in the dryer.. opening my creaky closet would for sure disrupt the slumber in the house.. i'm one of those girls that the quieter i try to be, the louder i am.. 

oh, i just had one of those body stretches that starts out as a simple yawn, then works it's way down your arms, thru your core, travels down your legs and exits your toes.. 

and i recite my daily affirmation

DEAR UNIVERSE

THANK YOU FOR THIS DAY

I EXPECT GOOD THINGS

SURPRISE ME WITH SOMETHING WONDERFUL TODAY

 

grey damp day

 

it was a grey day.. all day.. not necessarily rainy.. but the kind of day where the air is damp.. yeah.. moist even.. isn't moist the most dirtiest sounding word that is just a normal word? but yeah, the air was damp.. misty.. can the air be considered humid when it's cold? it was like that.. you don't see any rain drops, but moisture collects on everything like dew.. dew during the daytime.. moist, but not quite  fog.. the weather kept me from sitting outside.. stuck inside, i didn't know what to do with myself.. i did some laundry, some dishes, some cooking, more dishes.. i lied down with my kitty for a spell.. i was waiting on some used books to be delivered.. so i kept wandering outside into the damp air to walk up my long driveway.. no books.. no mail yet.. and our driveway is bendy with lots of trees & bushes on the sides, so i have to walk at least 3/4 of the way up to even see the mailbox.. the door fell off the mailbox, so i can see inside from my 3/4 way stance.. yeah, no door on the mailbox, it fell off before the winter, before the propane truck backed out of the driveway and broke my mailbox off the post.. so every time it snowed, the snow plows would knock off my precariously balanced mailbox with no door, into the ditch, where i would have to dig it out of the snow bank.. scoop out the tight packed snow like the boys in Alive digging out the airplane when the avalanches came.. my mailbox, a mini fuselage.. every snow storm a mini avalanche.. now it's the rainy spring season, so i have to try and time my incoming mail strategically, or else i gather up soggy circulars & past due bills.. so while i'm waiting for my books to be delivered, i wander the driveway in the damp weather enough times to consider this my exercise for the day.. i find a dead woodchuck on the road at my driveway top on probably the 6th time on my trek to the mailbox.. this not only saddened me, but i felt a bit of panic.. oh please don't be Winston, the woodchuck that lives under my shed.. i pulled it off the road & into the grass.. it had markings that didn't look familiar, but i was still anxious to see Winston.. make sure, ease my mind.. i said a little prayer over the woodchuck in the grass on the side of the road.. finally, at 6pm, i get a notice in my email "package delivered" .. who the hell gets mail at 6 in the evening? i know i live rurally, but 6pm? delivering my mail feels like an after thought.. and why would i check my mailbox umpteen times a day when i have alerts on my computer? because the updates were odd & seemed random.. telling me it is out for delivery, but estimated arrival time is MONDAY.. when i headed out the door at 6pm, i saw Winston sitting next to her den, all meerkat like, eating on the kale i put out for her earlier.. i had to scream in joy at her.. "Winston!!  Love You"  she gives me a look & goes back to her kale.. i get my books before the damp air seeps into  them.. you know? i really need to get a new mailbox.. and secure it to a post.. my plane crash mailbox with no door and no landing gear.. with numbers i marker onto a piece of paper and tape to the side like an S.O.S note.. yeah, it was a damp, grey day.. it put me out of sorts.. winter has only been over for a month or so, and i already don't know what to do with myself when i can't be outside, in the sunshine & cool air.. sitting at my table on the porch with all my journals and pens and papers strewn about me.. weather forecast shows rain everyday for a week.. same place same time, see you back here for another update in the chronicles of my extraordinary ordinary life.. [smile - life is good]

cut flowers and a spoiled raccoon

it's late, like creeping up on midnight.. i should've been in bed hours ago.. not that i have a bedtime hour.. but i like to rise with the sun.. i love mornings.. i'd say i'm a morning person, but i'm also a night person.. i've never required much sleep.. 

i got caught up watching a movie.. Beautiful Girls.. i haven't seen it in years.. i forgot how much i liked it.. then i heard Roxy the raccoon on the window sill & had to give him a head scratch and some snacks.. he's the sweetest wild animal ever.. 

i spent some time outside today, it was beautiful.. never even got up to 60 degrees.. my kind of weather.. i gathered some cut flowers in a mason jar, because i think there should always be some bits of nature in my house.. these are all we have blooming so far.. 3 different types of daffodils & some african violets.. i do see 4 tulips coming up.. these are all things that were here before i came along.. i appreciate them.. 

i need to crawl into bed with the fella.. he's deep into sleep.. ya know, when he's been asleep long enough for the snoring to quiet down.. my 2 kitties are curled up next to each other on the heated blanket.. tho Liv follows me everywhere.. as soon as i get comfy in bed, she will make her way in, fall asleep on my face.. heh, yeah really.. 

good night

 

do more things that bring you joy

i've been doing a lot of thinking lately about leveling up.. i've been in a bit of a rut.. not a rut as in the sense that i feel stuck or depressed, but more in a rut like i'm doing the same thing over & over that isn't lending itself to my growth.. in other words, my growth is at a stand still.. in all areas of my wellbeing..  my creative self, my emotional self, my mental self.. there are a lot of us inside here & they've all grown complacent and in need of a shake up.. some inspiration to bring learning & growth back into the mix.. 

so i was lying in bed last night and i thought to myself - "how do you expect things to change when you do the same thing over & over again"  so i'm switching up my routine, or rather i'm tossing my routine out the window.. 

my normal routine in the morning is to get up & spend some time on the sites where i make a few cents.. you know the sites.. nickel & diming my way to getting an Amazon gift card thru surveys, games, polls, clicks & videos etc.. i asked myself last night - "is this bringing me joy?" .. i love that i can get a couple gift cards a month, but the time it takes to make them and i'm really not enjoying myself.. it feels like a chore or a job i dread.. 

it is taking me away from the things that DO bring me joy.. like watching the sunrise, being in nature, playing with my cats, reading, writing, painting, drawing, photography, poetry, writing letters.. all these things bring me so much JOY.. so today, i am switching things up.. the sun has come up over the back 40, i laughed at my kitties running zoomies thru the house, i'm writing, i'm feeling grateful and inspired..

this photo is Roxy from last night.. i love this raccoon so much.. He stops by most nights for a head scratch and some snacks..  we help each other out.. He brings me such a sense of pure joy and kindness.. he is an instant energy boost.. and he gets some healthy nourishment.. last night it was almonds, dates & blueberries.. and this makes me think, am i putting the best nourishment into my own body? nope.. having a few nuts & berries throughout my day doesn't cancel out the cheese crackers & the chocolate chips i'm snacking on.. 

anyway

i am feeling inspired to switch things up.. so today, i am going to do everything differently.. backwards, upside down & inside out.. 

it's a beautiful day

i'm inspired

let's go get our happy on.. 

spring squirrels and broken ribs

winter is winding down finally here on my 6 acre postage stamp on the new york/vermont border.. even for this area, this winter has been long.. we still have a foot of snow on the ground on the shady dips of land that the sun cannot reach yet, tho each day, the sun tracts higher in the sky.. rising earlier, lingering longer.. 

i yearn to be outside.. i began some spring clean up outside a few days ago, only for my body to betray me in the form of a dislocated or cracked rib.. it really doesn't matter the correct term, as anyone who has ever hurt a rib, it might as well be broken, because they all hurt like a MF.. and they all require the same healing advice.. rest.. so i have been rendered useless.. okay, not useless, but certainly not productive like i normally am.. living the way i do, there isn't time for convalescing.. there are seeds to sow, food to gather, canning, fermenting, preserving.. 

i guess the Universe is trying to tell me something.. perhaps i need to slow down? self-care? 

 

bonded pair of cardinals

 

has it really been a month since i last made a blog post? wow.. and here i sit, again on the eve of a full moon.. feeling wordy.. and then sitting here for 10 minutes between sentences.. 

last night i woke up at 1.02a.. my kitty Ava jumped into the window.. i'm a light sleeper, just her shifting her body wakes me up.. out the window, the moon so bright on the foot of snow we recently got.. so we sat there, watching a bunny hop around under the rose of sharon bush.. i love all the critters that i am blessed to share space with.. even the squirrel that bit me a couple days ago.. he just over shot the almond i was offering up.. he was all excited, it being the first almonds of the day & other squirrels were rushing in.. 

that's all i got in me tonight.. so i leave you with a beautiful bonded pair of northern cardinals.. i'm going to get back to eating my blue corn tortilla chips with salsa.. 

good night ya'll