27 january 202

i am having fun with my drawing challenge.. 27 days in & i find myself enjoying it so much, some days i draw more than one piece.. today was the first sunny day in a LONG time.. i sat on the bed, with the 2 kitties, basking in the sun.. it felt so good.. i drew & wrote in my journal, did an oracle card reading.. enjoyed myself for hours..  and now i'm tired.. it's time for Sequoia to put herself to bed..  g'nite.. 

 

meet LIV

 

this little lovely entered our family a few days ago.. i got a surprise phone call the other day from my neighbour who asked me if i would consider taking her.. like permanently.. the fella & i have spent some time babysitting her in the past & she definitely left a lasting impression on us.. the neighbour only said that their pitbull grabbed a hold of her & she was afraid in her own home.. we talked about it & decided we had the love & energy to take her in.. 

upon picking her up, i became fully aware of her situation.. the pitbull grabbed her by the head & shook her violently.. this happened weeks ago.. they didn't take her to the vets.. the traumatized cat secluded itself in an uninhabited upstairs area.. wounded, fearful & lonely.. her many wounds are still healing.. they have had this sweet girl for 11 years.. and this is how they treat her? damn she deserves a better life.. 

when i would babysit her, i took her over homegrown catnip, scratchy toys, bird feathers, treats.. and every time i would visit her, all the toys would be shoved under the couch, catnip & treats not touched..  [erghhh]

so in just a few days, she has become our LIV.. [as in, she deserves a chance to really LIVE] she is thriving.. she has a complete play area, fresh daily catnip.. she is slowly learning that a dog isn't around every corner.. she is the sweetest girl.. so affectionate.. we LOVE her here.. our other kitty Ava is still a little shy with her, but she's a sweet girl too.. they will be happy sisters soon..

we lost our 2 boy cats over the past year & we talked about getting another cat.. of course everyone wants a kitten.. but i feel that when something is meant to be, it will happen.. so LIV was meant to be ours.. yeah, she's 11 years old & we are happy knowing we are giving her a better life.. 

welcome 2023

something fun i am challenging myself to - is a 365 day art challenge.. meant to stimulate some creative mojo.. no rules, except i need to create something every day for a year.. any medium.. so today i sat in the sun & drew this fish.. i liked using the negative space with a sharp outline to enhance that.. it was fun.. 

as for resolutions.. i like to call them something else.. the word resolute on its own is a powerful word, but it seems to come with a stigma.. when i hear it, i think of it negatively, as in.. failure, shame, defeat.. so i like to call them intentions, as in - i intend to create something, no matter how big or small, everyday for a year.. i have many more things i intend for 2023.. 

i intend to tap into my true authentic self.. what does that mean? to me, it means to acknowledge what is true to me.. what are my personal standards? do i do things that make me feel ashamed? if so, then i am not living up to my true self.. i tend to hide my quirks away and that is not being true to who i am.. i fit myself into pockets of other peoples distractions.. that is so not living an authentic life.. i need to learn balance & diplomacy..  my passions shouldn't be shelved until everyone else is fed, distracted, asleep.. so this is something i am working on.. creating safe spaces to express myself and to do so with balance.. 

so i go into 2023 with intentions of living my most authentic self.. to live as mindfully as i can in comfort, happiness & wellness.. to nurture my creative self & develop a relationship with self-love.. and to everyone that reads this, i wish you this too.. 

good night 2022

i just backspaced over a long paragraph, because my rambling sounded a little too much like complaining and i don't want to go out on 2022 sounding sour.. so shifting gears.. 

i'm watching old black & white episodes of the Twilight Zone.. i grew up on these.. loved them then & still love them now.. 

i do so love the beginning of a new year.. ah, i think i'll save this new year rambling for tomorrow.. seems more appropriate after the new year has started.. maybe i'm a little superstitious.. like my Gramma Dot believed it was bad luck to hang a calendar early.. so i shall wait.. 

good night 2022

positive journal prompt - 26 december 2022

 write about a time when you hesitated but then went out & socialized with others and had a great time

maybe it's the time of year, coming up on the New Year, that instantly brought this memory to the forefront of my thoughts.. somewhere in the the time frame of 1999-2001.. in Canada.. it was New Years Eve and i had my evening all set out.. i'd made some comfort food, gotten into my pajamas and was settling in to watch a Kids In The Hall marathon on tv.. the perfect evening for any introvert.. then the phone started ringing.. i rolled my eyes & i don't know why i answered the phone, but i did.. it was Leenie & Desi & Snowy [the work gang] begging me to come out with them.. after many grumbled NO's, i let myself be talked into it.. it takes about 25 minutes to get from the Reserve to my Apt, so i had plenty of time to get dressed & made up.. 

we went to Club 445.. not the real name of the club, but i don't remember the name.. it was nicknamed 445 by way of how many Indians [ahem, Native Americans.. growing up, i only knew we were Indians.. no politically incorrectness happening on the Rez] frequented the club.. 445 was the telephone area code on the Rez.. 

at the club, no one wanted to be the first on the dance floor, so LeeAnn & i went out and got the ball rolling.. a couple girls without shame nor shyness.. 

i remember being outside for fresh air & finding Brento curled up on the ground under the back wheels of his Suburban.. apparently too much alcohol & coke.. he was so cold.. so we got him in a car & drove him home.. we dumped him inside his house on the floor.. his Dad apparently stumbled over him during the night, giving him the nickname SpeedBump that remained with him among our circle.. 

i left Canada soon after this.. but i DID end up having a good time that night..

side note: as fun as that night was & i remember with a smile.. i can't help think about LeeAnn & Leenie as they both lost young daughters.. 

snowy saturday

 

i woke up this morning at 4.30a to find the hydro [power] out.. luckily we'd just barked up the woodstove, so we were in no worries of being cold.. it sure is dark out here in the woods without a light to be seen anywhere.. we got a bit of snow from the storm that moved across the country.. i'm here in upstate New York, so we are near the end of that storm.. so i curled up on the couch with my kitty Ava and read a book with my clip on light.. 

the fella roused a couple hours after me.. we lit some candles, i put water on the woodstove for tea & coffee.. put peanuts & sunflower seeds on the window ledge for the critters.. we got quite the pile of snow.. heavy, wet snow.. a huge part of a maple tree came down in the yard,. it was turning into a woodpecker tree.. the pileated woodpeckers love that tree behind the firepit.. luckily it missed the trailer & the she-shed & the apple trees.. 

i had to go outside.. it was barely light and i'm trudging thru deep snow with my camera.. so darn pretty.. every direction i turned, it looked like a postcard.. the snow is so insulating.. no sounds of the living yet.. even the birds hadn't roused.. i managed to occupy myself easily enough with painting, reading, writing part of a letter to my sister.. till the power came back on just before noon..  

the nightbirde series

it's early evening, not quite dark out.. it's been lightly snowing here all day in upstate new york.. maybe an inch or two.. it is so pretty.. the kind of snow that sticks to the skeletons of trees.. the woods out in the back 40 are gorgeous.. 

so i've been so busy lately, that today i finally had a couple hours of ME time & i did 4 quick pieces of art.. watercolour & marker.. this is the "nightbirde series".. do you ever see someone, either in person or in the media & feel something for them? i came across a video of a beautiful soul named Nightbirde [Jane Markzewski] and i was so moved by her.. and come to find out, she has passed on.. i think everything about her is beautiful.. her voice, her spirit, her eyes, her smile.. she moved me before i knew about her struggle.. i feel like i'm mourning her some here.. 

do we have to physically know a person or animal, to feel a sadness or sense of loss? i would wake up in the middle of the night & she would be on my mind, like i dreamt of her but don't remember.. she'd be in the background of my feelings.. yeah, not full on thoughts, but like an ambiance, an aura, a feeling.. 

sometimes moments of strong empathy surprise me, overwhelm me & i need to process it in my own way.. usually some creative way.. 

so i did a few paintings to honour the lovely Nightbirde..

canning blueberry bourbon cinnamon cayenne jam

 

so i came into a pile of cherry tomatoes & blueberries.. i am not one to waste the good fortune of free food.. so this morning i made & canned 8 jars [1/2 pint] of roasted salsa and 10 jars of blueberry bourbon preserves.. 

for the salsa, i cut & squeezed the seeds out of all the tomatoes, put them in a 425 degrees oven on baking sheets, along with onion, garlic & jalapeno peppers.. i wanted a nice char on them.. roasting them off makes a big difference in the taste.. and then i seasoned it to taste.. yummy stuff like cumin, cilantro, paprika, chili seasonings.. also lime juice & apple cider vinegar to get the ph balance proper for long storage..

then i got to work on the blueberries.. cooked them down with sugar. bourbon, cinnamon & cayenne.. i just came up with the flavour profile as i was going along.. i didn't want to use too much sugar, so i added some sure jell for low sugar jams & a bit of clear jell.. the zest of a lemon & plenty of juice to keep the acidity proper.. and mmmm.. 

put some of that on a piece of rye toast. bourbon is subtle, the cinnamon gives it a smoky hue & the cayenne catches you on the back side.. i could see this stuff on pancakes or ice cream.. 

sorry no real recipe to follow.. i'm not one for measuring.. i just add this & that.. it's all on the fly.. but for some free food that would've gone bad in a day or so, i now have 18 jars of goodness for the fella & i.. all just for a bit of my time & energy.. and it was fun.. 

time for drawing

the thunderstorm from last night turned into snow as the temps dropped overnight,  so i woke up to a pretty scene of white..  i didn't have much in the form of chores or projects today, so i took some time to create.. i had this magazine clipping of a vulture photo that has been on my to-draw list.. it was so relaxing.. curled up on the couch, heated blanket over me, coloured pencils scattered about while it snowed outside..  

no real deep thoughts going on here tonight.. it was nice to have such a low key day.. 

the fella & i always have a dozen projects on the go, it seems.. we've been organizing, re-arranging, cleaning & fixing.. we cook, can, ferment, pickle.. we harvest, dehydrate, bake & freeze.. if there is something we want, we try to do it ourselves.. 

a day with minimal chores is a good day..

windy night

 

it's getting late & i'm sitting up watching a movie.. Roman Holiday .. i'm really not one for romance movies, but -  ah, i'm a sucker for Gregory Peck.. and Audrey Hepburn is easy on the eyes too.. & i suppose it isn't the happy ending type of romance movies, the guy doesn't get the girl in the end..

it's a windy night here, so very windy.. so much so that my house creaks & groans.. sometimes i can feel the air create a vacuum inside.. i am surrounded by trees, i suppose that is what makes the wind sound louder.. wind sounds different on flat land.. it sounds different no matter what it is passing thru & over & around.. i wonder if most people consider this? wind in the city, has a different sound, as it whirls around the sharp corners of large buildings.. it sounds different as it creates waves on the ocean.. i respect the wind.. it always demands my attention.. here we have a hill that is just pines & the wind thru pines is a sound that is so distinct & haunting.. the maples bend & the oaks creak & aspens have a bit of a whistle.. anyway, this isn't meant to be a lesson on wind.. it is just so loud & gusting.. like it demands a bit of recognition.. [so granted]

we had a bit of thunder too.. thunder on the last day of November.. seems a bit odd for upstate New York.. but i find i'm not surprised by the odd weather patterns anymore.. what with climate change & global warming.. out of place & unexpected weather is becoming a norm.. ah, don't get me started.. 

i suppose i should shut this down & get myself tucked into bed next to the fella & my ava-kitty.. i'm always awake before the skies turn light.. my old black & white movie is over now.. so g'nite ya'll..