oracle card reading - 02 october 2022

oracle card reading

one card draw

deck:  wisdom of the oracle by colette baron reid

question:  what should i put in my vortex today?

TICK TOCK #30

[jumper]

[a bit of back story]

i mention this because this is where my thoughts went while holding this card.. i have been trying to manifest some extra money.. i have been meditating on it, eft tapping on it, setting new moon intentions.. and so on.. and as the days turn into a new month without any such monies materializing.. i admit that i have become not only a little anxious, but discouraged.. 

so, i feel this card is telling me to slow down girl.. just because you want something, NOW.. doesn't mean the Universe works on your time table.. i stopped finding joy in the process and was living in an anxious state of eager outcome.. and i know perfectly well this isn't the proper way to manifest.. 

want creates more want

wait creates more wait

i was indeed manifesting what my energy was putting out there.. i wanted more and the Universe was keeping me in a state of wanting, waiting, wishing.. 

this card told me today, to relax.. remember to enjoy the process, which goes along with living in the present.. 

BE PRESENT IN MY OWN LIFE

why am i trying so hard to make tomorrow a better day when i can't slow it down and find the joy in today? 

i have been creating art with all the wrong energy.. i truly believe that all artists in all mediums, leave a little piece of themselves in their creations.. their energy is infused in it.. and for the past month, i am sure i have left some anxiety, impatience, yearning & sadly discouragement in mine.. [it would be pure greed and selfishness to put these out there.. ahem, i won't]

so what is my take away from this card? what can i learn from this that will guide me today?  -  create, enjoy the process, be present in the moment.. infuse comfort and satisfaction in my art.. imagine someone seeing my work and it resonates with them on an emotional level.. they want to own it.. the energy i have placed within it, is not only picked up by someone else, but it is fueled and fed by another energy.. and this,  THIS IS MANIFESTING!!

i am a human becoming

i am continually learning

tick tock - stop the cycle of waiting and trying to rush time

put it out there to Spirit and then trust the process

curried squash soup with kale - vegan

 

dinner tonight was this yummy soup.. ingredients - butternut squash, carrot, cauliflower, red & yellow peppers, purple onion, veggie stock, garlic, curry.. cooked then blended.. i love, love, love the texture of kale, so i put that in last.. leftovers for tomorrow.. yum!

so the fella & i got our most recent Covid 19 vax.. not sure if this one is called a booster or not, but it has been the 4th shot in total.. yesterday was rough, we stayed in bed all day yesterday with the chills and aches.. we expected as much.. and today we are mostly back to our normal selves.. 

well enough to whip myself up a batch of soup and some chicken parm with pasta for him.. 

hopefully tomorrow i'll be back to creating some art.. 

drawing with Ava - dwellings page two

 

this is what it looks like when i'm creating.. no  matter the project - i have my Ava kitty on my lap.. today i was lying on the bed to soak up some sun, since it was a little too cool to sit outside.. i got to doing another dwellings piece.. i picked a building with sharper lines.. it was fun.. and i'm sure using colouring pencils will get easier as i continue.. 

dwellings in art - page one

 a new art project

i have been inspired by a post i saw on twitter.. if the link works here, i will share.. Francisco Fonseca .. i decided to try something similar.. it is most definitely out of my comfort zone.. i love to draw animals & trees & people.. i love detail, so drawing each hair, fur, feather & leaf excites me.. i've never really thought about buildings.. what with their straight lines & definitive structure.. i am not a fan of sharp edges & rigid corners.. i am a fan of messy, liquid, flowing shapes.. so yeah,  this is really putting my creativity to the test.. - and - i never just do one drawing.. i have to make it a project.. so i dusted off a new art book, made a title page [that is how i cement myself in to this idea] and i got drawing.. i started off in pencil, as that is just naturally my medium of choice, but if i am to push my comfort limits, i need to put the pencils away.. i pulled out my lunch box full of colouring pencils..

 

and so, this is my first dwelling.. i can see now that i reverted back to my comfort zone some.. this wasn't intentional.. do you see it? of all the buildings i could've chosen to draw, i picked one without strong lines or edges.. i leaned towards crumbling walls, swayback roof.. a lot of room for error.. too much room for error really.. so for my next one, i will try to pick something more structured.. it's not that i want to be uncomfortable while drawing, but rather i want to challenge myself.. it's too easy to sit and draw a bird, horse or tree.. i have been doing that since i was 5.. 

and.. i hope to see some improvement with each new piece.. the last project i took on was to do a study of flower vases in pencil.. i might have drawn 30 or so before i felt i had improved enough.. and really, i just knew one day i was done drawing them.. 

like last night when i knew i would wake this morning & draw dwellings for a spell.. i would love to know what you think.. should i attempt backgrounds, rolling hills, clouds? or would that pull away from the building? more shadows & highlights?  ah, it's late & i'm rambling.. 

"you may say i'm a dreamer.. but i'm not the only one"  - j.l.

meh .. just meh and a zebra

 i have lots on my mind tonight, but all in fragmented pieces.. i can't seem to pull my thoughts in to any one thing for very long.. i started a new book, tried to set new moon intentions, pulled out my journals, my oracle cards, art books and just zero inspiration.. so i took a nap with my kitty, thinking that would reset me.. went outside and then it started to rain.. fed the foxes & the squirrels.. even cooking couldn't inspire, ate left overs.. the fella was having an uncomfortable day [chronic pain from a myriad of issues] .. tv couldn't inspire me.. i sound so hum drum.. sure i am prone to moodiness, but it usually passes quickly.. i have so many interests that i can usually just distract myself & before i know it, i'm wrapped up in something mystical, mysterious, curious & unknown.. meh.. i'll get a good nights sleep & be ready to rock n roll tomorrow.. 

so i managed to post a new listing on etsy.. lounging zebra.. that was the extent of my creativity today.. not doing the painting, just posting it.. 

g'nite ya'll.. 

impromptu book review

 

i just finished reading a book i started a couple days ago and i always give my honest thoughts in reviews.. in this case, a one star review.. i don't particularly enjoy giving unsatisfied reviews, but i like to be honest.. i love reading and there are so many books that demand a permanent spot on my book shelf.. this was not that.. the book in question tonight is "i am, i am, i am.. 17 brushes with death" by Maggie O'Farrell.. what an intriguing title for someone with a morbid curiosity [ahem, myself] 

this book did not deliver.. her writing style is wordy, intelligent and almost poetic.. i love a well versed author with a vast knowledge of the english language.. 

and that is the good part of this book.. the style of writing in a jumbled timeline was irritating.. her brushes with death were more acts of stupidity and disregard for her welfare.. the welfare of her friends and family, children.. she wraps this all up in the excuse that she needs adventure.. but adventure is NOT jumping off a cliff at night knowing you have sketchy swimming experience & the remnants of a childhood illness that messes with her equilibrium.. 

the one brush with death that annoyed me the most was when she went to the doctor to have a screening STD blood test.. is this really a brush with death? have we not, all of us, had a blood test for screening some illness? cancer? virus? bacteria? is every mammogram that comes back clear, a brush with death? thwarting lyme disease with every tick bite, dodging west nile with every mosquito bite.. damn, i have had hundreds of brushes with death..

ah, i'm being over critical perhaps.. but once someone "ticks me off" i seem to hold onto that, like it gave me a splinter and i'm irritated, i keep reading, but that little needling keeps making me roll my eyes and i begin to skim.. 

on a different note.. i kept hearing noises from my porch.. it's too late to be my usual suspects, the squirrels begging for peanuts.. so when the thumping became loud, i sprung open the window with a flash light and catch 2 fat raccoons scrambling down and waddling off.. my flash light catches eyes and i see 2 of my grey foxes near.. 

on this note.. what photo do i want? what title fits my musings? yeah, these work.. g'nite ya'll..

twilight zone nostalgia

 

i'm not sure where my evening musings will take me tonight.. sometimes i just start writing and let the ebb & flow of my thoughts take their own path, mostly unedited & unfettered.. 

i'm lazily watching "the Twilight Zone" re-runs on tv.. this was one of my absolute favourite tv shows when i was little..  i have always been drawn to that unknown element, the things that spark a mood, emotion & definitely the "what ifs".. i would watch them with curious wonder.. i don't ever remember NOT being curious about such things as ghosts, synchronicity, time travel, deja vu, dreams, premonitions and the power of the mind.. i remember being all of 7 years old, in the dentist chair with a mantra of MIND OVER MATTER.. 

if there is the slightest element of the unknown in something, my curious mind is delving down into the grey matter of it.. 

now, to find a photo to accompany this ramble.. this is my creative mind at work & i need to satisfy that part of me.. can i find a photo of mine that matches this post? GOT IT! in my head, this spiderweb works.. it reminds me of the spiral in the beginning credits of the Twilight Zone.. 

musings - 21sept2022

 

i really need to stop watching true crime before going to bed.. it's a guilty pleasure of mine, but i feel i should end my day on a positive note or a moment of peace.. so i flipped the tv channel over to NatGeoWild and there is a show called In The Womb - Animal Babies, because well, how can ya not feel happy & fuzzy inside while watching baby animals? seriously tho, what a nifty show.. the photography is so amazing, i wonder quickly if it's CGI, but the more i watch, that is real babies in the womb.. just as the title says.. [back it up, did i just use the word nifty? yup.. my inner hippie is showing] looking back up to the tv, how cute are meerkats? 

i had a nice day today.. i cleaned my house early on.. the buzzing about, sweeping/mopping and such, had lil Ava all up on her toenails, so i spent some snuggle time with her.. we curled up on the bed in the afternoon sun for a spell.. i read for about an hour then got up to go for a walk outside.. i took kale stems & cauliflower stalks out to Winston the woodchuck [she's fattening up for her long slumber] leftovers after making a big pot of soup.. 

the fella just wandered thru carrying the jar of peanut butter & a bag of butter pretzels.. i already had my snack, baked corn chips with cilantro & lime hummus..

alrighty.. i think i will unplug & do a quick meditation & get my fanny to bed.. till tomorrow, be well, be happy & grateful.. 

a bobcat pooped on my driveway

 

so yeah.. a bobcat pooped on my driveway today.. i was walking up the driveway to check the mailbox and i spot .. yup.. poop.. i live in upstate New York in a rural area.. my little postage stamp of property that i affectionately refer to as "the six acres woods"  how do i know it was bobcat poop? well, i've educated myself on such things, because i like to know what critters are frequenting my woods.. i've seen the bobcat on a few occasions.. i wonder, what makes a bobcat choose my driveway to poop on? is he being territorial? is he giving me a big F You? even my outdoor kitty knew enough to poop in the woods.. ah well.. i'm just jibber/jabbering.. 

and to spare ya'll a photo of bobcat poop, here's some cuteness.. my babygirl AVA..

if anyone wants to donate to Ava's vet bill gofundme.. thank you!

be yourself - everyone else is taken

 

my sister called me a lil bit ago and we got talking about OCD.. is it a learned behaviour or is it something we are born with? genetic? environmental? so we talked about the varying degrees we've known it personally.. she called me out on it and i didn't recognize it at first.. so i looked at it from her point of view and yeah.. i'm a counter.. i count every swallow i take of water, how many times i splash water on my face [always 5].. how many times i rinse & spit when brushing my teeth [again, always 5].. i count cows in fields and geese flying south in the sky.. and so on.. and so on.. 

so i said to my sis that i don't have OCD.. because i didn't even realize i count so many things.. meaning, i am not a prisoner to counting.. i don't feel that it is debilitating, so how can it be OCD? she laughed.. not at me, but the irony.. i've often busted her balls about her routines.. not to say i was laughing at OCD, but we are a shoot from the hip bunch that never pussy foots around anything.. 

anyway, it was an interesting conversation that had us thinking back to childhood situations that felt like the beginning of some of our compulsive behaviours.. 

be who you are.. love yourself with all your quirks.. own all your flaws and flaunt your muchness!!

above all else, be yourself, everyone else is taken..  [wink]